


It was all in your head

by Lil_ali



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s14e10 Nihilism, Fluff, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Kid Jack Kline, Multi, Parent Castiel (Supernatural), Parent Dean Winchester, Season/Series 14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-01-31 12:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18591163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_ali/pseuds/Lil_ali
Summary: Dean was still in shock from the information that Jack had just revealed. If both Dean and Cas were Jack’s parent’s did that mean that they were… together?“Right. Of course I know Jack. I just need a bit of a recap. So, my last name is Winchester and your last name is also Winchester and that is because...the two of us are…?”“Married.” Castiel finished for him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.“Right. Married. Obviously.” Dean let out a nervous chuckle.*Basically a season 14 version of "What is and What Should Never Be"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think we're all in need of some family fluff after the way Season 14 is ending...

Dean regained consciousness with his mind feeling fuzzy. He had a raging headache and he couldn’t even remember where it came from. In fact, he couldn’t remember much of anything. The last he remembered was him, Sam, Cas, and Jack sitting around the Bunker drinking beers after resurrecting the kid, but even with his hazy memory that felt like forever ago. He just couldn’t remember what happened since then.

He opened his eyes to find himself lying down on a bed he didn’t recognize inside of a room he’d never seen before. The bedroom had a homey feel to it and yet it looked like no room in the Bunker. The walls were a soft bluish grey and the king sized bed he was on was clearly intended for two people. 

“What the hell?” Dean muttered. He had no idea where he was or how he got there. He wasn’t restrained, which he took as the first good sign. He jumped up and walked out of the door feeling relieved to find it unlocked. That crossed ‘captured by a supernatural villian’ off his list, at least for now. He quickly walked down a flight of stairs leading to a living room still feeling confused. He heard the sounds of someone cooking in another room and moved to follow it when a picture on top of the fireplace caught his eye. He slowly walked towards it with an uneasy feeling building in his stomach. 

He saw himself standing in the center of the picture looking happier then he’d ever seen himself. Standing on either side of him was Sam and Cas both smiling in way that Dean had never seen them do before, or at least, not in a long time. There were few moments when they felt genuinely happy. Cas was holding a little boy in his arms whom Dean didn’t recognize. He had light brown hair and bright blue eyes; he kind of looked liked a mini version of Cas. In the far left of the photo was his mom and Bobby standing with their arms wrapped around each other. It was a weird sight for him to see even if they were kind of “dating” now.

The photo could have been entirely possible except for one person that caught Dean’s eye from the beginning. Standing next to Sam was the love of his brother’s life, Jessica Moore, alive and safe with a big smile on her face. The bottom of the picture frame said “Our Family” printed in cursive and he felt his heart ache wishing that this was real. 

More clattering from the next room snapped Dean out of his thoughts and back into reality. He quietly crept into the kitchen, trying to get a view of who was in it. He was surprised to find Cas standing there trying to flip an egg in a frying pan. 

“Cas? What the hell is going on? What is this?” He asked feeling relieved when he saw his friend. He had been almost certain it was going to be a demon or some other shitty monster-of-the-week. 

“Dean. Thank God.” The angel’s eyes lit up. “You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t want to wake you. So, I thought I would try to make breakfast, but I keep breaking the yolk.” He handed Dean the spatula and pan, cleary hinting that he wanted him to do it for him. 

“What? No that’s not what I meant.” He looked at the pan in his hands confused, but flipped the egg regardless. 

“Yes, I know. I ‘suck’ at cooking.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “This is the only thing I attempted to make besides that I made Eggos. Although, I did burn the first two.” 

“Cas! That’s also not what I meant. I meant where the hell are we?” Now, it was Castiel’s turn to look confused. 

“We’re at home. In Lebanon, Kansas.” He said slowly. 

“No. Our home in Lebanon, Kansas is the Bunker. Not whatever this place is.” Seriously what the hell is going on? He thought.

“Look, I know we’ve had to rough it before, but we’ve never lived in a Bunker. Are you okay?” Castiel looked at him worried.

“We live at 13135 Heavenly Way Lebanon, Kansas.” He heard a small voice say from the kitchen table. He looked over to see the little boy from the photo beaming with pride while holding a crayon. 

“Good job! You’ve been practicing.” Cas smiled back at the kid and gave him a thumbs up.  
Dean looked back and forth between the two feeling even more lost.

“That’s another thing too. Who’s the kid?” Castiel glared back at him.

“He’s our son, Jack.” He lowered his voice a little. “I know you were drinking last night, but seriously Dean?” He only heard that last part of what Cas said because he was too busy staring at the young boy. The longer he looked the more he noticed the resemblance between the Jack he knew and the one sitting in front of him doodling with a crayon. Was this what the kid should really look like? He couldn’t even imagine this little kid going through the crap his Jack went through. That he put him through. It was so easy for him to forget the kid’s real age due to his appearance. 

“I’m Jack Winchester and my Daddy is Dean Winchester and my Papa is Cast… Cas Winchester.” The little kid stated. Castiel ruffled the kid’s hair a little.

“He knows Jack. Daddy is just being silly. Now, eat your waffle.” Dean was still in shock from the information that Jack had just revealed. If both Dean and Cas were Jack’s parent’s did that mean that they were… together?

“Right. Of course I know Jack. I just need a bit of a recap. So, my last name is Winchester and your last name is also Winchester and that is because...the two of us are…?”

“Married.” Castiel finished for his as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right. Married. Obviously.” Dean let out a nervous chuckle. “Just give me I minute I need to make a phone call.” He used that excuse to run out of the kitchen. This wasn’t real. He had his theories when he saw 5 year old Jack, but his marriage to Cas proved it. This had to be a djinn dream, that was the only explanation. His feelings for Cas were something he kept locked away in the dark corners of his mind left to never see the light. Only a creature who could read into his mind could conjure up this dream for him. Because him being married to his best friend was a far cry from reality. Sure, Dean really was in love with him, but Cas would never reciprocate those feelings and even if he did, it would never work with their lives. 

Since he already told dream-Cas that he was making a phone call, he figured he might as well actually make one. He pulled out his a phone that was definitely different from his real phone. His lockscreen was a picture of Jack and his home screen was of him and Cas. He felt tempted to look at the photos on this phone, but he restrained himself. Seeing happy photos of himself might make this feel all too real and it would make leaving hurt all the more. He went to his contacts list and quickly found Sam’s name. He hit it and put the phone up to his ear. 

“Hello?” He heard Sam answer.

“Hey Sammy. What’s up?” He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say. He just wanted to see if his brother had anymore answers.

“Not much. Jess and I are about to get dinner for tonight.” Dean was relieved to hear that the picture wasn’t lying. Jess was really alive. At least she was in Dean’s dream.

“Tonight? What’s going on tonight?” He played along. 

“Dinner at my house. Like our family does every Saturday night. You, Cas, and Jack are still coming right?” 

“Yeah, of course we’ll be there. Hey are Mom and Bobby coming?” He asked remembering the picture.

“Yep. They’re coming too. Jess and I have something to tell everyone, so you better be there.” Sam emphasized the importance of his appearance, as if it wasn’t out of character for this Dean to cancel.

“Is dad coming?” Dean asked. He knew his dad was probably dead. If he was alive he would’ve been in the photo and his mom wouldn’t be with Bobby. He had to ask anyway. If Jess was alive who knows who else could be. 

“No Dean. Dad’s been dead for a year and even if he was alive he wouldn’t be invited.” Sam said stiffly.

“Why not?” Dean asked feeling as if there was a story behind this. The idea of Sam and his Dad not getting along in this world didn’t come as a shock to him. Although without hunting, Dean couldn’t imagine what they would have to fight about.

“Well for one, him and Mom can’t stand being in the same room. Not since the divorce.” 

“Mom and Dad were divorced?” He asked shocked. John and Mary were supposed to be the perfect couple. A match made from heaven, literally. Without being hunters their lives should have been perfect. From the last djinn dream, he remembered that there was always a catch. One flaw in a seemingly perfect universe, because the truth of the matter was that nothing can be perfect.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Sam scoffed. “They fought constantly through our childhood. It was obvious that neither of them were happy. He was a drunken asshole, but you always saw passed it because you idolized the man. I mean I thought you would finally understand when you saw how much Dad and Cas hated each other, but apparently I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry Sammy.” He apologized, but it was hard to feel bad for something he didn’t do. No. Cross that. It was exactly what he did. In his reality he always looked up to his father. No matter how many days he’d be gone, no matter how many times they struggled to find food, no matter how many times he came back drunk, Dean always stood up for him. He always tried justifying his father’s actions and it irritated Sam to no end.

Although, he did find it interesting that his Dad and Cas didn’t get along. He wondered if it would be like that in real life if they had met. With John’s distaste in anything unnatural and Cas’ disapproval of how they were raised, he wouldn’t be surprised. 

Sam sighed. “No Dean, I’m sorry for going off on you like that. Talking about Dad has always been a sensitive topic.” 

Dean awkwardly coughed to clear the tension. “That’s all in the past. Anyway, I’ll catch you later on tonight Sammy.”

“Yeah, Dean I’ll see you later.” Dean sighed as he looked down at the foreign phone in his hand. He knew that he was lingering in this fake world for far too long. Now that he know it was a dream he should have already looked for a way out. Not make a phone call to fake Sam about a fake life that wasn’t his. This world was tempting him - which fit a djinn’s MO perfectly - and he shouldn’t be falling for it. 

“I’m taking Jack to the park.” He look up to see Cas holding hands with little Jack. “When we come back you better be back to normal.” 

Dean stood up and walked over towards them. “I’m sorry Cas, I think I’m just having an off day. When you get back I’ll be better. I promise.” 

Cas gave him a look of sympathy then pressed his palm to Dean’s cheek. “Well I hope you feel better.” Then he gave him a quick peck on the lips. For as short as the kiss was Dean felt his heart speed up. He tried not to let his mind linger over how that was first time he kissed Cas, something he’d been thinking about for years, but resigned himself to never acting on it. He reminded himself that this wasn’t real, it was a dream, which meant it didn’t count. The moment was interrupted by Jack’s tiny squeal. 

“Eww! Gross!” Dean knelt down to the kid’s height and ruffled his hair. 

“You be good kid and look out for your Dad for me. Promise?” 

“I promise.” Jack said with determination in his eyes that it reminded Dean his Jack. Both looked wise above their years.

Cas gave Dean another sad smile before picking up Jack and walking out the door. Dean sighed. This was the perfect opportunity to leave and go back home. He had the whole house to himself. All needed to do was find where they kept the knives and stab himself. Great.

Once again he found himself lingering around the house for a moment. He knew that this was a dumbass move, but the temptation was too strong. This was the last time he would ever be in this fantasy world might as well enjoy it for a few minutes. 

He looked around the house at all the family pictures. They were mainly pictures of Jack at different ages, looking like he had a proper childhood. There were photos of him playing at the park, covered in dirt, with chocolate stains smudged around his mouth. He had scabs on his knees and a big grin that showcased his missing teeth. Everything that Jack Kline had missed out on.

The weirdest was seeing pictures of himself and Cas looking like a couple. Dean and his Cas barely touched each other besides an sympathetic pat on the shoulder or slight brush of hands or, if he was lucky, an occasional hug. That didn’t prevent his toxic mind from craving it. 

His curiosity lead him to a bookshelf that held a wide book with a thick binding. He was pretty sure that it would be a family photo album. 

“Don’t do it. Don’t do it.” He scolded himself. The temptation to explore further was eating into the back of his mind. “Son of a bitch…” He muttered as he grabbed the damn book and sat back on the couch. The saying “curiosity killed the cat” must really be true because every minute he wasted in this world was another step closer to his own demise. But, since when did he ever care about dying?

The album started off with pictures of him and Cas during, what he guessed, was the early stages in their relationship. Cas looked younger, like when he first met the angel’s vessel Jimmy Novak. Dean appeared to be younger too, only a reminder to how much he’s aged in what felt like a short amount of time. He reached a page that showed him, Cas, and Sammy. His little brother still had remnants of his bangs that didn’t last very long past his Stanford years. 

He skipped a few pages ahead, reminding himself that his time was very limited. He stopped at photos from his and Cas’ wedding. The wedding didn’t take place in a church,but it was in a greenfield in the country. What really caught his eye was the wedding party itself, it was filled with people they had lost back in their world. Clearly Sam was the best man, but beside him was Kevin, Benny, Gabriel, Balthazar, Garth, and Gadreel. It wasn’t a group he could picture hanging out, but it made perfect sense to him why they were all there. There weren’t as many bridesmaids, but they included more loved ones who were long gone. There was Jo with her arm around him looking like she was mid laugh, Meg who looked pissed at being forced to wear a dress, Claire looking equally annoyed, Charlie looking the exact opposite,and on the end with a hand over her slightly rounded stomach was Kelly Kline. 

He flipped the page and was surprised to see a photo of his father. It seemed like the only picture of John Winchester in the entire photo album. The only person standing next to him was Dean. Cas and Sam were standing next to him and Mary was to the far opposite end. Both his parents had awkward smiles on their faces that seemed forced. He knew there was a story behind it. Too bad he won’t be sticking around long enough to find out. He flipped forward a few pages and stopped when he saw more pictures of Kelly. This time her stomach was twice as big, like she was ready to pop any day. He deducted from the pictures that Cas had thrown her a baby shower. It seemed like in this universe, the two of them were close friends. 

The next page showed a birth certificate that said, “Jack Kline. Born: May 17 3:15 a.m.” Then next to it showed pictures of a newborn Jack. Some were of just Jack, some showed Cas holding him, and one even showed Dean holding the newborn. But, one crucial person was left out: Kelly. 

He flipped a page only for a loose paper to fall out. He turned it over and let out a groan, “oh no…” The paper had picture of Kelly on it and in big cursive letters said “In Loving Memory Of”. Dean noted that the date of death was a day after Jack’s birthday. It looked like she faced the same fate as the Kelly Kline from his universe. 

The rest of the album was more photos from Jack’s childhood. They all showed the life the kid had with Dean and Cas as his dad’s and an occasional photo with his Uncle Sam. 

When he got to the end Dean closed the book and tossed it aside. He shouldn’t be learning about a life that wasn’t his own. It was a stupid idea and it could get him killed. He needed to get out of here and fast. Before it tempted him any further and before dream-Cas comes back. 

He jumped up and went back to the kitchen. He searched through all of the drawers until he found where they kept the knives. He picked out the knife that looked the sharpest and he took a deep breath. Despite knowing that he would be fine, stabbing himself wasn’t easy for him to do. Sure, he had been stabbed a million times in his lifetime, more than an average person, but there still was that lingering feeling of “what if?” He pointed the blade towards the center of his chest and took another deep breath. “Here goes nothing…” he whispered as he closed his eyes gearing up for the impact. 

“What are you doing?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean continues to find a way out of the dream world, but only gets sucked further into it. Cas grows suspicious of Dean's weird behavior.

“What are you doing?” He turned around to see dream Cas staring at him as if he had grown three heads. 

“Cas…” He breathed trying to come up with an answer. “Y-you’re back... Uh? Where’s Jack?” He asked trying to buy him more time. He silently cursed himself for being a dumbass. He should’ve done it as soon as Cas and Jack left. Instead he lingered around like a reckless idiot.

“He’s taking a nap upstairs. He fell asleep on the way home, but that doesn’t answer my question.” He said sharply.

“Look you wouldn’t understand. There’s this thing called a djinn-”

“A djinn? You think your hunting a djinn?” 

“What?” Dean asked feeling confused. The way Cas asked about the djinn didn’t sound like he thought Dean was crazy. It sounded like he knew what djinn was. 

“You do realize that you need a silver knife dipped in lamb’s blood to kill a djinn and not a kitchen knife we bought at Ikea?”

“How do you-”

“Unless, of course, you think this is a dream brought on by the djinn and you plan to use that knife on yourself.” Dean was in shock. It didn’t make sense that this Cas knew exactly what a djinn was. In his previous fantasy world the supernatural didn’t exist and everyone thought Dean was crazy.

“How the hell do you know what a djinn is?” He asked in disbelief.

“Of course I know what a djinn is.” Castiel studied him for a second. “I’ll tell you exactly how I know if you promise to put the knife down.” Son of a bitch. Why the hell was this Cas so damn smart? 

“Fine,” Dean gave in and lower the knife, but kept his grip tight on the handle.

“Dean, I mean put the knife all the way down, as in back inside the drawer.” He said giving him the same doe-eyed look that his Cas loved to used against him. He put both hands up in surrender and placed the knife back in the drawer.

“Thank you,” Castiel let out a relieved breath. “Now, I know what djinn is because I’m a mythology professor at the university. It’s my job to be an expert on mythological creatures like a djinn. Of course, you should know that already.”

“Right. I totally knew that.” Dean said not convincingly. Castiel gave him a strange look before stepping closer. He put the back of his hand against Dean’s forehead, as if he was checking his temperature. Finding nothing, he slid his hand down to his cheek. 

“There’s something wrong with you…” He asked imploringly.

“I’m fine Cas.” Dean said firmly. Castiel gave him a look before stepping back. 

“Maybe I should call Sam and cancel…”

“No!” Dean said quickly. He did not like the idea of being stuck here under Cas’ watchful eye for hours being constantly observed like he was under a microscope. “I already promised Sam we’ll be there. He said him and Jess have an announcement.” 

“I’m sure whatever it is can wait. Especially, if it’s concerning your health.” 

“No. I’m fine. I want to go.” He tried to say as honestly as he could. Cas wasn’t one to move past something like this easily and would no doubt be keeping an eye on him the rest of the night. At least, if he was going to be stuck here any longer he might as well go to Sam’s shindig. 

“Alright.” He agreed. Great. Now he’s never going to leave me alone. 

They heard small footsteps scampering above them signaling that Jack had woken up. 

“Are you going to get that?” Dean asked pointing to the ceiling. His fingers crossed that maybe when Cas left the room he could knife himself quickly.

The other man crossed his arms over his chest. “No. I think you should.” Dean rolled his eyes and walked past him. An argument would only make the situation worse. He already knew just how well Cas knew him and how his mind worked. Why couldn’t he be in love with someone who was dumb as a doornail? He didn’t even know how to entertain a kid.

Turns out it wasn’t that hard. All it took was for Jack to look up at him with big blue eyes and ask “will you play with me?” and Dean was sold. Just like his Jack, you could try to hate him for being the spawn of satan, but the kid was too damn nice for it to stick. Hell, it took Rowena less than five minutes to go from hating him to doing whatever she could to save his life. This Jack had the same effect, except his size meant he came with twice the cuteness factor. 

And despite being a Preschooler, he was into a lot of stuff Dean liked. He could only assume it stemmed from his own influence. His favorite movie was Star Wars, his favorite superhero was Batman, and he even shared his love of cowboys. Although, Jack’s favorite was Woody instead of Clint Eastwood. When Jack got bored of playing with toys, all Dean had to do was tune the television to old Scooby Doo reruns and Jack was entertain for another hour. Soon enough, Cas came into the room and told him it was almost time to go to Sam’s house. 

Dean tried one more time to sneak off to the knife drawer while Cas was helping Jack put on his shoes only to find that the drawer was empty. No doubt Cas had done it while Dean was upstairs with Jack. The djinn was on to him and this was his way of keeping Dean trapped here. 

When he gave up looking he grabbed his keys and told Cas that he would warm up the car. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw his baby parked out front in all her glory. He chuckled when he saw the booster seat strapped in the back row. 

“Look Baby, we’ve gone domestic.” The last time he remembered seeing a booster seat in the Impala was when Sam needed it. Not that they used it for very long after their mother’s death. They got rid of it as soon as Sam was able to use a seatbelt.

The drive to Sam’s house was quiet while Cas would sneak worried glances in Dean’s direction. He had made things worse when he asked Cas to put Sam’s address into the GPS on his phone since he had no clue where Sam lived. He reasoned that he was hoping the GPS would give him the fastest route. He thought it was a normal request until Cas argued that Sam lived close enough that it would be pointless. Luckily for him Castiel eventually gave in, but he could tell it only made his fake husband more suspicious. 

Cas was telling the truth when he said Sam lived nearby because soon enough the drive was over. Dean jumped out of his car rapidly desperate to get away from Castiel’s watchful eye. 

As soon as Dean knocked on the door, Jack sang out, “Uncle Sam, we’re here!” It sounded like something Jack probably did every time he came over. 

“Hey!” Sam opened the door with a big grin on his face. 

“Uncle Sam!” Jack cried as he squirmed out of Cas’ arms and ran into Sam’s. 

“Hey buddy!” His brother picked him up and held him high in the air as Jack giggled like crazy.   
Dean was in awe watching Sam. He rarely saw him act so light and carefree. His face looked younger without the burden and baggage that the real Sam Winchester always carried with him.

“Hey Sammy, you look great.” He said honestly.

Sam gave him an odd look. “Uh...thanks Dean. You look great too. Hey Cas.” He nodded towards the man next to him. “Come on in guys. Mom and Bobby are already here and Jess is in the kitchen.” Sam carefully placed Jack back on the ground where the kid took off like he owned the placed. They followed Sam into the kitchen where Jessica Moore turned around and smiled at them and Dean felt the air in his lungs dissipate. It was like seeing the ghost of someone he hasn’t seen in over ten years. Jess was someone that Dean had only known for a very short period of time, but the effect her death had on his life, his brother’s life, still remained. 

“Hey Dean!” She greeted him cheerfully giving Dean a hug that he returned, holding on for a little longer than appropriate for a casual family greeting. 

“Jess you don’t know how great it is to see you.” He said as he pulled away, looking her over once more.

“Dean come on, I thought we had gotten past all this flirting.” She said teasingly, “And especially not in front of your incredibly handsome husband.” She turned to Cas with a smirk.

“Story of my life,” Cas shrugged. “I do apologize for his behavior, remind me why I married him again?” Both Cas and Jess broke out into big grins and gave each other a hug. Even though they were joking about him, Dean smiled at the scene. Castiel and Jessica Moore were two people he would have never imagined being in the same room hugging and joking around, but here it was. It also gave him a weird sense of comfort knowing that in another life the two would get along. It felt right.

“There’s my special little man!” He heard the voice of his mother say from another room. The sound of it triggered a memory from deep into his childhood. A time when his life had been different and safe and normal. 

He followed the sound to the next room over and the scene that caused it made him nearly choke up. It was his mother picking up Jack up into her arms and squeezing him tight. She held his head close to her chest and pressed a kiss against the boy’s forehead. 

It was his mom. Not the one Amara had resurrected. The one he remembered from his childhood. The one that cut his sandwiches into triangles and sang the Beatles softly under her breath and promised him that he had angels watching over him every night. The one that represented everything he lost in that fire.

He knew that he was being childish. That the Mary Winchester from his childhood was the same as the one brought back. His vision of her had been impaired by a childlike innocence and years of grief over her and what his life could have been and warped her into a being that was perfect and free from flaw. It just wasn’t a realistic expectation for anyone to live up to. But, that didn’t stop him from feeling like his relationship with her was strained. Sure, he’d forgiven her for that Men of Letters crap from a few years ago, but it still felt like things between them could never go back to the way they were. 

Except with Jack he thought things would be different. She had known him from the moment he was born. There were no gaps, no long periods of time she’d missed, nothing to catch up on. 

They even got a chance to bond while they were both stuck in the apocalypse world together. It seemed like the two of them had been through a lot together. Mary seemed like someone Jack really looked up to and saw as a motherly figure and Mary appeared to really care for Jack. At least, that’s what he thought. Until Jack died and she couldn’t even bother to pick up the goddamn phone. It wasn’t like he was expecting her to drop everything and drive back to the Bunker. All he wanted was a phone call back, maybe even a text, but she couldn’t even do that. She couldn’t be there when her sons needed her. She couldn’t be there when Jack needed her. 

So yeah, watching her act motherly and caring struck a deep cord with him. 

“Dean?” He had been so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Mary moving her attention from Jack to him. “Is there something wrong sweetheart?”

“No, Mom.” He coughed. “Everything’s perfect.” He pulled her into a hug that she happily returned. 

After that he decided that he was not going to find a way to leave the dream while he was surrounded by his entire family. He was going to have to wait until the night when everyone would be asleep. This Cas was human, which meant he would need rest and that will be the perfect opportunity to slip out of the house. 

Until then, Dean decided that he would actually enjoy his dream reality for a moment. It was a rare occasion to have his entire family in one room, safe, happy, and with no end of the world crisis looming over their heads. It was something he would probably never experience again in his lifetime. It was a beautiful thing to witness this group of people, each one important to him, interacting in a relaxed and untroubled environment.

Surprisingly, Dean found it easy to merge himself into the conversation. There were a few times where someone would reference an event or memory that didn’t understand, but he would smoothly play it off. He was in such a good mood that he offered to feed Jack when dinner came around. He propped the wriggling youngster onto his lap and shared his plate of food with him. 

It was also odd knowing that her he could touch Cas whenever he felt the urge without it being awkward. Earlier the back of his hand brushed up against Cas’ while they were sitting next to each other on the couch. If this was his universe, they would’ve kept that subtle contact until the angel would move his hand a millimeter closer and then Dean would cowardly recoil his hand away. In this world it was different. This Cas just gave him a look before instinctively lacing their fingers together with a satisfied look on his face. It made him wonder if things could ever be this easy in real life. 

“So, you guys probably already heard, but the reason Jess and I invited you is because we have an announcement.” Sam nervously said grabbing Jess’ hand. “We wanted to let you know that we’re expecting!” There was a shocked silence felt in the room so Sam started rambling. “And look, I know your probably thinking why do it now when it’s so close to the wedding? Why not just wait? And trust me, we thought about it, but we couldn’t wait any longer. We wanted to get started as soon as possible.” 

“Oh honey,” Mary said with watery eyes. “That’s wonderful.” She got up and gave him a hug. 

“What does ‘expecting’ mean?” Jack asked.

“Well Jack, expecting means that we’re going to have a baby” Sam answered with a smile, “It means that your going to have a baby cousin to play with.” Jack let out an excited gasp that Dean couldn’t help but laugh at. 

“That’s great Sammy, I’m really happy for you.” Dean said feeling a little emotional himself.

“Actually, we have you and Cas to thank for helping us make that decision.” Jessica spoke up, “If it weren’t for us babysitting Jack for the past few years, we probably wouldn’t have been this eager to go through with it.”

“And even though we have no control, were kinda hoping that it will be a boy.” Sam added.

“Thank you, Jessica and Sam. That’s very flattering and we promise to return the favor when he or she is born.” Cas said with a warm smile.

While Bobby gave Sam a pat on the back, saying “I’m proud of you son,” Dean noticed Cas whispering something into Jack’s ear. Whatever it was, it made the kid grin and nod his head enthusiastically. After, that he hopped off Dean’s lap and walked over to Jess. He motioned for her to lean down to his height, then he gave her a big kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Jack” Jess giggled and gave him a pat on the head. Then the kid moved on to Sam only instead of motioning to him he climbed into his lap. Then he gave his uncle another kiss on the cheek like he did to Jess, to which Sam also laughed.

“I hope your baby is a boy like me too!” Jack said with a smile. “Do you think he’ll watch Star Wars with me?” 

“I promise that they’ll watch Star Wars with you Jack. Even if it’s a girl.” Sam told the little kid.

“That’s ok. If she doesn’t want to watch Star Wars we can watch Sleeping Beauty. I like that one too.”

“Awesome,” Sam laughed “I have a feeling you’ll be a great older cousin Jack, and who knows? Maybe you’ll also be an older brother soon.” Jack’s face light up and he looked over at Dean and Cas. 

“Woah Sammy, don’t give him any ideas.” Dean laughed.

“Dean’s right, we haven’t even started thinking about that.” Cas added. 

“Daddy? Can I have a baby brother? Please?” Jack put on his best good boy smile and looked at Dean and Cas with pleading eyes. 

“Buddy, getting a kid is a lot of work, not to mention the process you have to go through.” Dean told him gently. 

“But, Maggie from my school says that you can grow a baby in your tummy.” 

“Only some people can do that,” Dean tried to explain holding back a laugh. “I can’t, but try asking your Papa, maybe he can.” Cas threw him a glare.

“No Jack, I can’t either. That’s not how it works. Only girls can grow a baby and we’re both boys, so we would get a baby a different way.” The boy pouted in disappointment. Dean was just glad he accepted Cas’ answer any didn’t any more complicated questions. Like; Who’s belly did he grow from? Where was his real mother? Why didn’t everyone have two dads? All questions that the kid would probably ask one day, but hopefully by then Dean would be far away from this universe. Dean decided that he would still attempt to lift the child’s spirits in order to avoid any potential tantrums. Jack didn’t seem like the type, but who knows? When his Jack got over emotional he was known to blast people across the room, which only proved that this kid could be capable of anything. 

“You’ll get a baby brother or sister someday Jack, just not right now. Until then, you gotta show us that you can be a good big brother by looking after Sammy’s kid. Do you think you can do that?” 

Jack nodded. “Yes Daddy. I’ll be a good big brother. I promise.” Dean nearly chuckled at the serious look the kid had on his face. It was the same serious gaze older Jack had, but he was sure both Jack’s copied the look from Cas. 

The rest of the night was filled with congratulating the new parents and asking them questions about the new baby. The all laughed as Jack tried to feel the baby through Jess despite the fact that her stomach was still flat. He claimed that he could hear it and he already knew it was a boy, even when they tried to explain to him that the fetus didn’t have a gender yet.

Overall, Dean had a great time just being with his family in one room. He felt disappointment when Cas reminded him that it was nearly Jack’s bedtime which meant they had to head home. It only reminded him that his time here was almost over and he would soon have to return to reality. Cruel, harsh, depressing reality. 

He hugged each family member a little tighter than normal. He had to swallow down any tears that threatened to come when hugged Jessica. At least, everyone else he would see again, even if it may be a different version, but this would be last time he’d see her. 

When they got back to his and Cas’ house, Jack ran upstairs to put on his pjs. Then Dean asked Cas if he could tuck him in, he wanted to talk to him one last time. 

“Of course, Dean. You know you don’t have to ask.” Castiel smiled at him warmly. “Also, I’m glad you talked me into going to Sam’s. You seem a lot better than you were earlier.”

“I’m sorry I was just feeling really out of it this morning. It won’t happen again.” He was partly telling the truth, it won’t happen again because this world will disappear when he wakes up.

“I’m glad. I’ll meet you upstairs once your done with Jack.” Cas turned to walk away, but Dean held out a hand to stop him. 

“Cas, wait.” The non-angel looked at him imploringly. Dean took a deep breath. He only had one chance to this. To do something he had longed to for years, but never could in his world. Here he had the opportunity to do whatever he wanted, considering he was about to hit the erase button anyway. He grabbed the lapels of Castiel’s jacket and pulled him in for a deep kiss and to his surprised the other man didn’t push him away. Instead he held onto Dean, pulling him in closer and reciprocating the kiss. It felt just as amazing as Dean had imagined it. The kiss lasted longer than he expected, but ended sooner than he wished. It was just enough for Dean to store it in his memory forever. 

When they pulled away Castiel looked at him in awe while quirking his lip upward.

“What was that for?”

“I-I j-just…” Dean stammered. He decided to just go for what he really wanted to say. “I just really love you Cas.” Since this was the time to say things he thought about, but would never admit in real life, he figured why the hell not?

Castiel just smiled wider in response to his confession. 

“I really love you too Dean,” It warmed his heart hearing Cas say it back, although he knew it wasn’t true. Well aside from Cas’, I love all of you confession which proved to only disappoint him further. He had sworn that Cas’ initial I love you, was said directly to him and him only. Of course, he was wrong. 

“And unless you wanted to kiss more, I think you have a four-year-old waiting for you.” Cas added with another smirk.

“Maybe just one more kiss. For good luck.” He Dean answered with a dopey smile.

Cas rolled his eyes and gave him a short peck on the lips. “I would do more, but you may be unable to control yourself.” He stated bluntly in a way that only Cas could, before turning away and walking back upstairs. Dean sighed, feeling that his time in this world was almost over. 

When he walked into Jack’s room the kid was sitting up in bed with his hands patiently folding together as he waited for Dean’s arrival.

“Alright,” Dean clapped his hands together. “Remind me how this goes again?”

“You tuck me in, tell me a story, and then give me a goodnight kiss on the head.”

“Alright, I guess I can do that. Lie down.” Jack scooted down to his pillow, then stuck his hands under the blanket as Dean tightly tucked in his sides. 

“So, a story. Do you mean like from a book or…?” 

“Papa usually reads to me from a book, but you make up stories.” Dean sighed. He would have trouble thinking up a story that was also PG. 

“Uh… Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jack.” He started off feeling entirely uncreative.

“Like me?” Jack’s face light up.

“Yeah kinda. Except I’m talking about a different Jack. See, this Jack had superpowers.” It’s wasn’t like the kid would ever figure out that this was based off a true story. 

“Cool!” 

“Yeah they were totally cool. He could fly around from place to place and he blasted away bad guys with a wave of his hand. He could even open up portals to different dimensions.” It seemed odd telling Jack about himself, but it was the only thing he could think of. “It took him a while to get his powers under control. He started off small by moving a pencil without touching it, then after practicing real hard he was able to move people. Soon enough Jack was the most powerful hero there ever was and every bad guy feared getting on his bad side.

“Until, one day it was all over. Jack lost his powers.” Jack gasped loudly. 

“Oh no! What happened?” The four-year-old asked in shock.

“A bad man took them, while Jack was trying to save his family. See Jack knew that his family was the most important thing in his life and he would do anything for them. Even if it meant losing his powers. Then, Jack became normal. He was the same as everyone else. He felt sad because he thought he lost what had made him special. But, his family helped show Jack that he didn’t need powers to be special and that he was already special on his own. Once, he realized that they were right, Jack decided that he would continue to save the world even if he didn’t have powers because helping people was what he was born to do. The end.” He embellished the ending a bit, since he wasn’t about to tell a little kid that he actually died from his lack of powers and was resurrected by creepy soul magic. The truth wasn’t exactly the stuff of Disney.

Jack yawned. “I liked that story. Will you tell me more stories about Jack another night?”

“Of course kiddo, now get some sleep.” Dean smiled and kiss the boy on the forehead. He listened to Jack’s soft breathing until he was sure the child was asleep.

“I know I’ve never said it, or shown it, but I love you kid. I really do.” Even though he knew that was something that was meant to be said to his Jack rather than the sleeping child, it still felt nice to get it off his chest. He softly stroked the boy’s head before turning off the bedroom light and leaving. 

That was it. His time in this universe was about to end. It really did last longer than it should have, he blamed that entirely on himself and his desire to learn more about his alternate lifestyle. But he couldn’t help himself, the djinn designed this place specifically to make him want to say and if it weren’t for his better judgement, he may have considered it. 

He crept down the stairs and out the front door as quietly as he could in order to not alert Castiel. Once he got outside, he turned his cellphone in his pocket off, in case Cas tried tracking it. Next, he just needed to find where to do it, as dark as that seemed. It didn’t take him long to find how. He left their neighborhood and continued to walk until he found a street that was fairly busy. He would just wait until a car was about to pass him then he would step in front of it. Timing would be key, he needed to wait until a vehicle came close enough to where they couldn’t stop once they saw him. The impact didn’t even need to be hard enough to kill him, he just needed to be on the brink of death.

As he watched cars pass by and he was gaining the courage to step in, he began to think about his family in this world. He had just about everything he could ask for; his family all together in one place feeling safe and happy. For brief second, he considered staying one last time.

That thought only lasted so long before he shook himself out of it. That was exactly what the djinn wanted. They wanted to give you a perfect life while in reality they sucked out your life source while keeping you happily oblivious from it.

Then he thought of his real family. Sure they weren’t happy and were a far cry from normal, but they were still his. This family was only a fake imitation a monster wrote up for him after reviewing his memories. His real family, was out there, in the real world, and they needed him. 

They were probably worried sick trying to find a way to save him. In fact, every dumbass moment spent here was another moment lost in real life. He could be putting his family in danger by lingering around here to long.

In that moment, his decision was clear and final. As he saw a truck driving in closer he closed his eyes and swiftly stepped into the street. Milliseconds before the vehicle impacted, Dean swore he saw Sam and Cas watching him from across the street. Before his mind even processed it, everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wakes up in the hospital and struggles with determining if it's real life or still a dream.

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that his entire body felt sore and he could hear a steady beating coming from nearby. He opened his eyes and found himself lying on a bed in a hospital. He felt confused. Why was he here and not in some sketchy cellar staring down a djinn? Maybe he had been too late and Sam already rescued him? He could possibly be in a hospital for loss of blood. Son of a bitch, he didn’t realize he was gone that long, A day in dreamland should only be a few hours in real time and djinn usually wanted their prey to last. 

Unless this one knew who he was and wanted to finish him off straight away. 

The only clue he had was Cas hunched over a chair next to his bed. He was wearing his usual trench coat which was a good sign to Dean, but he also appeared to be sleeping which was unusual.

“Cas?” Dean called out to the sleeping angel. Castiel’s head immediately snapped up. His eyes softened once he saw Dean looking at him. 

“Hello Dean. How are you feeling?” He asked sleepily.

“Like crap.” Dean groaned. “Where’s Sam?” 

“I sent him home to get some sleep. He’ll be back in the morning.” 

Dean looked around the room still feeling confused. “So is that it? Am I back home?”

“Your in a hospital, so no your not home technically.” Dean rolled his eyes at the angel’s bluntness. 

“If I’m back then why do I feel so shitty. What the hell happened to me?” Cas looked down at his lap for a while, trying to come up with the right words to say.

“You should go back to sleep and get more rest. I’ll explain everything in the morning.” Dean could have fought him and demanded him to tell him now, but then he realized how tired he felt. A few more hours could actually do him some good considering how terribly he ached.

“Okay, Cas.” Dean rolled over and fell back into a deep sleep.

The next time he woke up he could tell this time the room was brightly lit and he could hear voices talking in a hushed conversation. He cracked his eyes open a little bit to see who was in the room. His mother was sitting next to him while his brother and Cas were standing up at the foot of his bed in a deep conversation. Everyone seemed to be back in order. Cas was wearing his typical suit and trench coat, Sam was clad in flannel looking stressed, and his mother was wearing her green army jacket. He strained to hear Sam and Cas’ whispered conversation. 

“So what did he say when he woke up?” Sam interrogated.

“Not much. He seemed rather disoriented. He said he felt “like crap”, then he asked for you, and then he asked what happened to him.” Cas answered.

“Did he say why he did it?” 

“No, but he kept asking if he was back home. Whatever that means…” Cas’ eyes locked onto his and he knew he failed at pretending to be asleep. Everyone else followed Cas’ gaze and suddenly he had three pairs of eyes on him. 

His mother smiled at him warmly and took his hand into hers. “Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

“I still feel like crap, but I guess I feel better than before.” He mumbled.

“That’s alright honey, take your time. We’re all here for you.” That sounded a little odd coming from his mom. She usually wasn’t that direct when it came to feelings, but he brushed it off as her being worried. 

“What the hell happened to me anyway? Did you guys kill it?” He look towards Sam and Cas for answers.

“Kill what?” Cas asked. 

“Shut up Cas, you know what.” He said a little harsher than intended, but he was getting pissed at no one giving him answers.

“Don’t talk to him like that.” Sam snapped, taking Dean by surprised.

“Sam, it’s fine.” Cas interrupted. “Dean, I think you might be confused. You did hit your head rather hard.”

“Hit my-?” He touched his forehead where he felt a big bandage wrapped around it. “What the hell?” He felt extremely befuddled. If he was attacked by a djinn, shouldn’t he just be experiencing blood loss? Unless he put up a pretty big fight before he was captured, which would make a little sense, but it didn’t explain why Sam looked pissed.

“You know what? If no one is going to come out and say it then I will.” Sam sounded extremely ticked off, which made no sense considering Dean was a victim. “You tried to kill yourself Dean! You snuck out in the middle of the night, probably to get drunk off your ass, you walked straight into traffic and got hit by a truck! Honestly your lucky the driver hit the brakes when he did or you’d probably be dead! We have no clue why the hell you went out that late! Or why you would want to off yourself! Or maybe you weren’t even trying to? Maybe, your just that much of a goddamn idiot!” He only processed half of what Sam said. Something wasn’t right. Of course he remembered stepping in front the truck, but that wasn’t real. That was only to wake him up, besides injuries from a dream don’t transfer into the real world. Last time he was in a djinn dream, it didn’t hurt when he stabbed himself. He just woke up immediately. So why didn’t he remember waking up? And why did his entire body ache? Unless?

“No. No no no no…” He repeated over and over. His dream wasn’t real it was just a dream. If it was an illusion created by a paranormal being, then why did everything feel so real?

“No? That’s all you can say for yourself?” Sam continued to bitch on. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this was real. Sam yelling at him wasn’t exactly proof that this was the dream world. Sam ragged on him all of the time. Although, his mom’s watery eyes put up a red flag. He’s had injuries far worse than a bump on his head and nobody really cared. Usually Cas would fix him up and he’d be good to go. “Your not in your twenties anymore Dean! You can’t just get drunk at a bar and start wandering the streets! You have responsibilities! You have a frickin’ family dude!” Family. That was it. One of the biggest discrepancies between his world and the dream world was Jack. He was a toddler in one and practically an adult in the other. He was also the only member of his little family that was missing from this room.

“Where’s Jack?” He asked, not caring that he interrupted Sam’s little monologue.

Castiel spoke up, also ignoring Sam’s look of annoyance at being interrupted.“He’s at Sam’s house. Jess is watching him.” Son of a Bitch. 

“Oh now you care about Jack’s well-being,” Sam scoffed. “You didn’t seem to think about him when you decided to check out. Imagine the look on the poor kid’s face when we had to tell him that his father was in the hospital. He couldn’t sleep the entire night. You could’ve just scarred your own kid for christ’s sake! As if Jack didn’t have enough baggage with his real dad-”

“Sam. That’s enough.” Cas practically growled at the youngest Winchester.

“Look, I’m sorry Cas, but my jerk brother has it coming-”

“You better watch your mouth Sam Winchester. Your brother is in a hospital, I expect you to behave appropriately.” Mary scolded. 

Dean completely blocked out the conversation. His brain felt like it was on fire. He had no idea why the hell he was still stuck in the dream world and it scared the shit out of him. He could feel his heart racing faster and each breath was coming in shorter and shorter. 

“This isn’t happening… This isn’t happening… This isn’t happening.” He repeated over and over. “This can’t be happening… It isn’t real… This is all just a dream… A real fucked up dream.” Everyone one was staring at him now and he didn’t care. 

“What the hell are you talking about Dean? Of course this is real and you for real screwed up and got plowed by a car.” Sam said with a hint of attitude, clearly he thought Dean was crazy. 

“Sam, that’s enough.” Castiel repeated again, but with no bite to it this time. Sam looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Excuse me Sam and Mary, but if you don’t mind I would like to talk to my husband alone please.” Cas said politely. Sam’s eyes finally softened up a bit as he gave his friend a comforting pat on the shoulder. 

“Of course Cas.” Sam then, left the hospital room with Mary following behind him after she gave Dean one last smile.

“So, are you here to tell me I’m crazy because believe me I already know.”Dean said bluntly as the door closed, leaving him alone with Cas.

“No, I’m here to gain some understanding.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “About why I did it? Because there’s no big answer, I did it just cause I felt like it.” He knew he had given the worst answer in the universe, but he didn’t really care.

“You and I both know that isn’t true,” Castiel looked at him with all knowing eyes as he sat on the corner of Dean’s bed. “Now, I’m going to tell you what I think is going on and I want you to fill in the rest.”

“Okay…” Dean said cautiously. He figured he was going to have to say yes to whatever Cas thought of. It wasn’t like he could tell him the truth. But, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued. 

“I think that this morning you woke up with a life that wasn’t yours, but one that you always wished you had. A life that seemed so, impossible to your standards that it could only be a dream. Which is why you thought you were captured by a djinn. A logical way to break the spell of a djinn’s dream is to kill yourself because people always wake up when they’re about to die in a dream. Which would explain why I found you holding a knife. After that you knew I was skeptical of you so you decided to play along with the fantasy.

“I think a part of you wanted to stay longer since there were many times that you had an opportunity to escape. I’m assuming that in your world we’re all still your family since you knew everyone’s name, except for Jack. Anyways once you slipped away you tried waking yourself up by getting hit with a car, but it didn’t work. Which leads us to the near panic attack you almost had. Does that sound about right?”

Dean was stunned. It was freaky how exact Cas’ story matched with his. “A-actually, yeah. That’s exactly what happened.”

Cas breathed out a sigh of relief, “Thank god. If I was incorrect this may have been extremely awkward.”

“And that’s it? That story doesn’t sound completely insane to you?”

“No, it definitely does sound crazy, but I suppose that I have a rather open mind.” He said simply.

“Okay. Hold on, because my brain is still trying to process this. How the hell did you figure that out?” He hand was pressed against his already aching brain.

“I felt suspicious about you from the moment you woke up, something about you just felt… different. After that I just paid close attention to every weird question you asked throughout the day. Then I made up my theory by connecting all of my clues together. I mean it isn’t rocket science. I didn’t pull the djinn out of nowhere, you were the one to bring it up first.” Cas said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That…” Dean found himself at a loss for words. “Now I know this is a dream, because for you to figure that out, you’d have to be a freakin’ genius!”

“Is the Castiel from your world not?” He asked rather bluntly, as if it was normal for people to call him a genius.

“No. I mean he is… I guess.” Dean wasn’t sure if being an ancient celestial being was the same as a “genius”. “Know-it-all” seemed like a better term. “So what now? If your such a genius, does that mean your going to help me get out of here?”

“I don’t think you can,” Dean felt his stomach drop. “ I’ve had a lot of time to think about this while you were asleep. A djinn does seem to be the most likely option, but that theory was squashed when you were hit by a car. Besides, when you woke up you said that you “felt like crap”. If this was a dream then you shouldn’t be able to feel pain. So, whatever did this would have to be a creature that could alter-reality. Like a trickster.”

“No. Giving someone their dream life doesn’t sound like the trickster’s MO.” They usually went after people who had it coming to them. Not that he didn’t, but nothing about this seemed vengeful. 

“Besides that, I don’t know what else could have put you here Dean.” Dean thought really hard. He felt like there was something else he was missing. Something obvious, but everytime he got close his head felt fuzzy. 

“Hey Cas? We’re going to come back in right now!” They heard Sam call from behind the door.

“Quick. Pretend that you like me.” Cas said grabbing Dean’s hand.

“It’s not like I really have to pretend,” Dean scoffed. Cas smiled at him as Sam opened the door and walked in. 

“Uhh. I hate to break up your guys’ moment, but the doctor’s going to come in and check Dean over so he can clear him to go home.” Sam told them. 

While the doctor was checking him over, Dean listened in on a conversation between Sam and Cas. 

“Cas, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about what happened earlier. I know I overstepped, especially when I brought in Jack. That was a dick move on my part.”

“That’s alright Sam. You were feeling emotional. I understand. Sometimes when Dean is overwhelmed with emotions he expresses it through anger. It must be a Winchester trait.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Sam scoffed. “I don’t know. I just felt so… upset. I just don’t understand why he would do something like this and I know my brother pretty well, or at least I thought I did. He seemed fine at my house earlier, happy even. Do you know? Did he tell you anything?” 

Dean looked at Cas and could tell he was trying to come up with an answer. It wasn’t like he could tell Sam the truth, he wouldn’t get it. 

“Yeah he did, it’s hard to explain.” Cas started, struggling to find the right words.

“Cas, please just tell me. I need to know. This is my brother were talking about.” Sam practically pleaded.

“I know, but I can’t. You’ll have to ask him yourself. Just know that Dean isn’t suicidal and he won’t do anything that might get himself killed.” 

Sam stared at the other man for a moment, deciding whether to believe him or not. 

“Fine. At least, for now. As long as at some point you or Dean tell me something.”

Dean let out a breath of relief. This at least gave him and Cas some time to come up with a story to tell Sam and the rest of their family. 

Thankfully, the doctor told him that he was ready to go home. He still had a raging headache and his body was definitely bruised all over, but besides that he escaped the accident with no major injuries. He was also relieved to find out that Sam and his mom came in a car separate from Cas. He didn’t think he could handle being questioned by either of them. Unfortunately, he wasn’t into the clear yet. Cas reminded him that they still had to go back to Sam’s house to pick up Jack. 

“Can’t I just wait in the car?” Dean groaned. 

“Normally, I would say yes, but I’m sure that Jack would want to see you right away.” 

“Alright. Fine.” Dean grumbled. “But I’m only doing this for the kid. We’re leaving the second we got him.”

“Agreed.” Cas nodded. 

Jessica was the one to greet them once the front door opened. “Hey Dean, are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah I’m feeling super.” Dean said sarcastically with a fake smile. “Now where’s our child?”  
Cas elbowed him in the side causing Dean to wince in pain. Of course, Cas had to hit directly where a bruise was.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just really eager to see Jack.” Cas was trying to cover up Dean’s behavior.

“It’s cool. Don’t sweat it.” Jess let them inside the house. As they walked in Dean silently mouthed “Ow” to Cas who rolled his eyes. “Jack kinda had a rough night. He barely slept and he kept waking up. He cheered up once I promised that you were okay and that you were going to come home later. Poor little guy was exhausted, so he took an early nap and he’s been knocked out ever since. Do you want me to get him?”

“That would be great. Thank you Jessica. Dean and I really owe you and Sam.” Cas thanked her. 

“It’s no biggie. That’s what families do.” Once Jess had left the room, Dean turned to Cas.

“Dude, I totally could have stayed in the car.” He whispered angrily.

“How was I supposed to know Jack would be asleep? Besides, what’s the big deal? Your brother isn’t even here yet.” Cas whispered back.

“Yeah well he’s going to walk in any minute and we still have no story to tell him.” 

“You mean you have nothing to tell him.”

“Thanks a lot Cas! Your seriously going to pin this all on me - son of bitch!” He was interrupted by someone opening up the front door and of course it was Sam.

“Hey guys. Sorry I took so long, I had to take Mom back home.” Sam greeted them. “Are you guys planning on sticking around?”

“Nah. We’re just here to pick up Jack” Dean tried saying it nicely.

“Are you sure you can’t stay for a little bit? I really wanted to talk to you -”

“Please Sam. It’s been a long day. We really just want to go home.” Cas added. Fortunately, before Sam could argue any more, Jess came back into the room holding a sleeping Jack.

“Here you go.” Jess said quietly as she carefully transferred the child into Cas’ arms and handed Dean a little backpack. Once Jack was in Cas’ arms, the boy wrapped his arms around him tightly and snuggled his face into Cas’ neck, like he subconsciously knew who it was.  
With a sleeping Jack as an excuse, Dean and Cas’ managed to leave the house without being interrogated. Although, Sam did look a little disappointed. 

When they got back to their house, Dean and Cas sat down together on the couch. They decided to let Jack sleep in between them with his head on Dean’s lap. They both felt the need to keep the little boy nearby them so that when he wakes up, he will know that he was back home. 

“Do you think it’s okay that we talk while he’s sleeping?” Dean asked.

“Yeah it’s fine. As long as we talk softly, we won’t wake him up.” Cas reassured.

“You know there is one thing your theory got wrong.” Dean looked down at Jack.  
“What is it?” 

“There is a Jack where I come from and he is kind of like our son.” Dean began to explain. He felt like there was no harm in telling Cas about his world now that he knew the truth. “I just didn’t recognize him. My Jack he’s… he’s older, or at least he looks older. He had to grow up fast. He never got to experience a real childhood. “ 

Cas gave him a sympathetic look. “Can you tell me more of where your from? Your world?” He chuckled. “So that I know this is more than you having brain damage.” 

“Yeah, I guess I can do that.” Dean coughed. “Where I come from, all those supernatural creatures you read about in books, they’re real. Sam and I, we’re hunters. We track down those creatures and we kill them. It’s not fun, it’s hardly ever rewarding, and the only thing it ever brings us is death and despair.”

“So, then why do it?” 

“Because someone has to.” Dean put simply. “We save people’s lives. Hell, we’ve saved the whole friggin’ world on occasion.”

“But, they can’t all be bad, right? There must be some creatures that are good?” Castiel asked seriously. 

“It’s funny that you say that, actually.” Dean laughed. “Because where I come from, you’re one of those supernatural creatures. Ever heard of the angel Castiel?”

“Yes, of course. That’s who I am named after.”

“Welp, you’re him.” Cas widened his eyes in surprise.

“So if I’m an angel, that means I’m good? Right?”

“Eh. Not exactly.” Dean shrugged. “Not all angels are good. In fact, most of them are stuck-up, dicks with wings, but you’re one of the good ones Cas. Actually, you’re the only good one, if you ask me.” Castiel smiled.

“Pardon me, but I have to ask, are we together in your world?” Dean sighed. He hadn’t been looking forward to this conversation.

“No. Uh...no we’re not. I mean Cas is… Cas is my best friend and I do kinda have a thing for him that doesn’t leave my thoughts for when I’m lying in bed at 3 a.m. but no, we’re just friends. Besides, he would never feel the same way.” Dean said awkwardly. It felt strange telling anyone about this secret that he has kept for so long. It was even weirder that he was telling the man in question. Dream or not, it was never a conversation he expected to have.

“You don’t know that. I mean, supposedly I’m the same person as this Cas and I like you.”  
Fake-Cas covered Dean’s hand with his own. Dean quickly pulled his hand away.

“Woah, uh no. First off, you’re not real. This is all just some weird fantasy my mind made up. Secondly, you’re human and Cas is an angel. Angels can’t…” Dean suddenly stopped. A realization had suddenly struck his mind. “Angels… that’s it!” 

Cas look at him oddly, but before Dean could explain Jack began to stir. Jack bolted upright and looked around the room, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Once he saw Dean his face light up and he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.

“Daddy!” He squealed.

“Hey buddy.” Dean gave Jack a pat on the back.

“Does your head feeling any better?” Jack pulled back, but continued to sit on Dean’s lap.

“Still aches a little, but don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Jack eyed the bandage on Dean’s head sadly.

“I wish I could just touch where it hurts and then it will feel better.” Jack gently touched the bandage on Dean’s head. It reminded Dean of a time when Jack really did have that ability and how he was still getting used to not having it. “Daddy? Why did you get hit by the car? Uncle Sam kept asking Auntie Jess when he thought I was asleep.”

Dean gave Cas a worried look. They hadn’t had a clue of how to explain the story to his own brother, how were they supposed to explain it to a four year old.

“Uh. Well…” Cas begun. “Daddy forgot to look both ways before crossing the street.” 

Jack gasped. “But, your always supposed to look both ways.”

Dean shrugged. “I swore there was no one there. Look, it’s going to take a lot more than getting hit by a car, to keep your old man down.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He was lucky, getting hit by a vehicle could have ended a lot worse. Which, is why you should always look before crossing the street.”

Jack nodded. “Yes, sir.” Dean felt relieved that Jack believed their explanation. If only Sam was that easy to convince. 

“I’m just glad to be back home.” That was a partial lie. This wasn’t his home. His real home was back at the Bunker, with his single brother, his kind of adopted nephilim kid, and his angelic platonic best friend. However, he did prefer being here then stuck at a hospital. 

“Me too.” Jack agreed. “I mean I do enjoy going to Uncle Sam’s house, but I’d rather be here with you and Papa.” 

They spent the rest of the night together as a family, mainly playing with toys in Jack’s room. Dean and Jack fought over who got to be batman, until Cas ended it by giving Dean a pointed look. Dean settled for being Woody, while Cas was Darth Vader. He totally nailed the “I’m your Father” with his deep voice. Then after that they played Legos. Dean “accidently” knocked over the house Cas had been building. In response Cas knocked over Dean’s fort, although it seemed a lot more intentional when he did it. Either way, it made Jack giggle, which made it worth having to rebuild it. Overall, it was a nice night, as long as Dean pretended that it was real, it felt real. 

It wasn’t until they put Jack to sleep and they were alone in their bedroom, that Dean finally told Cas the idea that came to mind. 

“So, I realized that the only other creature that can warp reality is an angel.” Dean revealed. “I’ve seen it before.” He remember that time Zachariah made him and Sam forget they were related and made them work lame-ass office jobs. Or the time he sent Dean to a post-apocalyptic future, that he now realized was probably made up.

“How do we test this theory of yours?” Cas seemed unsure. Dean thought for a moment.

“W-we could try summoning an angel.” Dean suggested. 

“Do you even know which angel would trap you in a dream like this? And if we do manage to summon him, how do you expect us to fight it? We don’t have access to any weapons.” Dean thought about it. He tried to think of which angel would do this, but came up with nothing. There were very few angels left, most of them he didn’t know. There was Sister Jo, but he couldn’t think of a motive, she seemed to do anything to keep herself alive. Messing with a Winchester was like signing your death certificate. Then there was Naomi, who was an evil bitch, but these days she seemed mellow, especially with the extinction of angels nigh. Besides that, the only other angel he knew was Cas, which he ruled out for obvious reasons. He felt like there was another angel that he was missing, but when he tried to remember his brain went fuzzy. Even trying to dig deeper gave him a headache. 

“Your right. I don’t know who would do this and if I did, I don’t know how we would fight them.” He admitted. “But, I think I know how we could test the theory.”

“How? And please tell me it doesn’t involve harming ourselves.”

“Don’t worry, it’s totally safe. We’ll summon you. I figure if I’m right, this could go one of two ways. Either the real Castiel will come and hopefully he’ll take me out of here, or you’re the real Cas and you just don’t realize it. If that’s true this might snap you out of it.” 

“And if nothing happens?”

“Then… Then I might be stuck here.” Which seemed like the worst case scenario to Dean. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if that happened and he really didn’t want to think about it. Cas gave him a sympathetic look.

“Would it really be that bad? If you stayed here?” 

“No, it wouldn’t.” Dean said honestly. “But, I can’t. This life is dangerous and my family needs me. I can’t just abandon them like that.”

“Alright. We’ll try this summoning tomorrow.” Castiel sighed.

“Damn. I just remembered, what are we going to do with the kid? We can’t take him.” It felt weird, being a parent. It was something he never imagined himself being. Of course his universe, he was kind of a parent figure to Jack, along with Cas and Sam, but that Jack was old enough to stay at home. Or more likely, he would come along on a hunt.

“No of course not.” Cas thought about it. “Normally, we would take him to Sam’s, but seeing as we’re both avoiding him, we could take Jack to your mom. Mary is pretty understanding. We’ll just tell her that we both need some time to ourselves.”

After that they went to bed. Dean felt extremely awkward when he realized that he was about to share a bed with his best friend. He knew they weren’t going to do anything and they both stayed to their respective sides of the bed, but the idea still felt odd to Dean. The second issue Dean faced was the act of falling asleep itself. It felt wrong, falling asleep in a world that wasn’t his own. It almost felt like the more time he spent here was the more time he was missing in his world.

Somehow he managed to fall asleep, but it wasn’t a peaceful slumber. Weird images flashed through his mind. He saw a spear lying in two broken pieces on the ground. He saw snapping fingers. He saw Sam, Cas, and Jack staring at someone in shock. Then he saw himself wearing a suit that he would never pick for himself. The weirdest part was even though it was his face, it looked like it belong to someone else. 

He woke up with a gasp. He tried to hold on to the memory of the dream. It felt like an important clue to his predicament, but he felt it slowly fade from his mind until it was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas try the summoning spell with disappointing results. Dean begins to think that maybe life in the dream world isn't too bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took longer than I expected. I've been busy with finals coming up. But, thank you to everyone who has been reading this story so far and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I planned on this story being shorter, but I got wayyy too invested in writing about Dean's dream world. Soooo oh well.

The next morning, Dean and Cas got an early start. Immediately after breakfast, they took Jack over to Mary’s house despite the Preschooler’s complaints. Jack held a death grip onto Dean when he tried to hand him over to Mary. Dean managed to put him down on the ground, but that didn’t stop Jack from gripping onto Dean’s sleeve and the corner of Cas’ coat. 

“Come on, Buddy. We’ll only be gone a few hours, tops.”

“But, I want to go with you.” Jack’s eyes began to well up with tears. 

“I know kid, but the sooner you let us go, the sooner we’ll be back.” Dean pleaded. That didn’t stop the tears that started to run down Jack’s face. 

“Come here, Jack.” Cas said leaning down and taking Jack into his arms. Cas held the kid close and rubbed the back of his head. “I love you so much and we would never leave you.   
Remember we’ll always come back to you, no matter what.” Cas motioned for Dean to say something. 

“Uh, I love you too, Jack. And Cas is right we won’t leave you. Remember, not even a car can stop me from getting back to you guys.” Dean gave Jack a kiss on his head. Then, Cas stood up and somehow managed to pass Jack to Mary. Jack still continued to cry, but at least he nuzzled his face into Mary’s shoulder. 

When they walked back to the car Dean asked, “Is it always that hard?”

“Only some days,” Cas shrugged. “He’s usually more compliant, especially when we take him to Sam’s house. I think yesterday’s events made him more clingy today, but he’ll calm down eventually.” In that moment Dean was thankful that the Jack from his world didn’t pop out as a baby. There was no way they’d be able to handle a crying baby and hunting. Their short experience with Bobby John was proof enough. Dean suddenly earned a lot more respect for his Dad for making it work.

After that, Dean and Cas drove around trying to hunt down the ingredients for an angel summoning spell. They found a lot of the herbs at fairly normal stores, but some of the more obscure ingredients they had to drive to a few sketchy stores that Dean knew of. They were lucky that such stores even existed in the dream world, but Dean guessed that just because they were normal here didn’t mean everyone else had to be too. Once they gathered everything that would be necessary, they drove until they found a location where they knew they wouldn’t be interrupted. 

Dean began setting up the spell, since Cas had no idea what to do. Dean drew him a picture of the circular sigil that had to be drawn of the ground. It didn’t take too long to set up, considering Dean had done this spell many times before. 

“Are you ready?” Dean asked holding the lighter.

“Yeah,” Cas gulped. “I’m just beginning to realize how crazy this is. But, sure. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Dean took a deep breath and he lit the bowl of herbs on fire, being the spell. When nothing happened immediately, Dean held his breath. Then suddenly, Castiel appeared in the middle of the circle. The angel looked around confused, his eyes lit up when he saw Dean.

“Dean?” The angel exclaimed.

“Cas!” Dean felt relieved, but it was short lived. As soon as Dean had called out his friend’s name, Castiel glitched a few times before disappearing.

“Cas?! W-what the hell just happened?!” He asked, feeling himself lose breath.

“What are you talking about, Dean?” Dream Cas asked. 

“You saw that right?!”

Cas shook his head. “No. There is nothing there.” Dean was in shock. How the hell did Cas not see anything? Cas, the real Cas, was standing in front of them. If Dean was a regular person, he would think that he was going crazy, but Dean wasn’t normal and he knew for a fact he wasn’t crazy. The real Cas was there. Even if it was only for a quick moment he was sure that what he saw had been real. That meant there was still hope of him getting out. A tiny, miniscule, sliver, but hope nevertheless. The bad news was there was nothing he could do about it. He still didn’t know who was doing this to him and he had no clue how to escape. But, if Castiel indeed saw him, that meant Sam and the angel were looking for him. He just needed to believe in his little brother and best friend. He needed to believe that they would find him. 

The ride home was spent in silence. Dean was too deep in his thoughts to even try to start a conversation. Even though he hadn’t lost hope of leaving, he decided to enjoy the dream until Sam and Cas came for him. He could tell dream Cas was starting to worry about him. He wasn’t even trying to subtly look at him, he was full on staring. Dean understood why. This Cas had been very forgiving so far and after he didn’t see anything in the warehouse, he probably was seriously starting to question Dean’s sanity.

“Are you okay Dean?” Cas asked nervously as the parked in front of their house.

“Yeah Cas, I think I am.”

“Really? Even though you might be stuck here?”

“I realized something,” Dean begun. “This is my dream world, right? Then, how bad could it be to be stuck here. I mean here I have everything I ever wanted.”

“Are you sure your okay with it?”

“Yeah I am.” Dean smiled. There was a part of him that was still itching to find another way back, but reason tamed that part by reminding him that Sam and Cas would come for him eventually. They always did.

“Good.” Cas said smiling back.

They still had a few hours left until they had to pick up Jack. So, Dean asked Cas to tell him more about this world, since he may have to live in it for the time being. Even if it was only to ease Cas’ mind that he wouldn’t try any more dumb ideas in an attempt to escape. Or at least that’s what he told himself. 

“I don’t even know where to start. You seem like you know all of the important parts.”

“Yeah, I had done some digging around the house on my first day here.” Dean tried to recall any questions he had. “What happened with my Dad? He seems like a sore topic around here.” 

“Your Father, he was difficult, to say the least.” Cas began. “I don’t think he was ever the same after your mother divorced him, it was her idea not his. Luckily for you and Sam, they waited until Sam moved to Stanford to split up. They didn’t like the idea of you two having to move between both houses or only being able to see John on the weekends.”

“Yeah okay my parents split, but happened between you and my Dad? Sam told me that you hated each other.” This was the part Dean was really curious to hear. John Winchester and Castiel never met each other, but Dean’s always wondered what would happened. He knew his Father had a distaste for anything Supernatural and he was always an atheist, so he could see him not being approving of the angel. But this Cas was human and as a person he was great, so he couldn’t see why John wouldn’t like him. 

“I can’t say too much about John’s perspective on the matter, but I can say my own. I have to admit I was cautious about your father before I even met him properly. From what you’ve told me, he sounded strict and like he was too hard on you growing up. When I expressed my concerns, you quickly came to his defense saying that he had strong moral code and that deep down he was a family man. So, I believed you, I mean I had no proof to show otherwise. 

“We started dating a little before the divorce, but we weren’t serious until after and that’s when I met John. I could tell right away that he didn’t like me. It was like every little thing I did was wrong. He didn’t like the way I dressed, he didn’t like my personality, he didn’t like my family. Which I don’t blame him for, I don’t like them either. They’re all slimy business men, except for me. Anyway, we had nothing in common. I knew nothing about cars or sports or music. While you found it enduring, your Father saw it as uncultured. 

“At first, I thought maybe he was homophobic and he didn’t like seeing his son with another man. He seemed like an old-fashioned type, maybe he didn’t take you seriously when you said you were bi? Then, I realized that wasn’t it. He was never openly harsh it you, his dislike seemed to be 100% directed at me. Looking back on it, I realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t care at all, it was that he cared too much. I think that he believed that no one would ever be good enough for his son and whatever high standards he had I didn’t amount to any of them.

 

“I tried to get along with him, I really did, but everyone has a breaking point and eventually I reached mine. I knew that if I wanted to be with you, I had to somewhat get along with him, but I just decided that I would stop trying to impress him. Mainly that meant I become a little more mouthy when he tried to belittle me. It didn’t help his view of me, but it at least made me feel better. Eventually the fire between us died down to a simmer and I think you knew that was the closest thing to a compromise that you were going to get. I knew your Father was your hero and I didn’t want to be the one to get in the way of that. Luckily, I didn’t.

“Then Jack came along. Usually, parents turn a new leaf when they become a grandparent, but John stayed the same. I think it had to with Jack not being a true Winchester or maybe it was because of who his real father was. Either way, his energy towards Jack was cold. I didn’t dwell on it too much. John’s demeanor always seemed cold to me, but you found it unsettling. Then one day, when Jack was two, John went off on him for breaking something. I don’t even remember what, but it was easily replaceable. I mean he was a toddler, that’s what they do. 

“Anyway, something in you snapped and you stood up to him. I think you released years of pent up anger on him. After that incident, you stopped talking to him. It only lasted until six months later, when your Dad had a heart attack and was put in the hospital. The doctors knew that he didn’t have much time left. You visited him in the hospital everyday until he died. Jack and I joined you a few times. That’s when your father finally turned around. He apologized for the incident with Jack, everything he put me through, your childhood, all of it. Thankfully, I think the John Winchester in the hospital will be there one Jack remembers when he’s older.”

“Wow…” Was all Dean had to say, once Cas finished telling his story. It was a lot to take in. 

“That does sound like my Dad.” Dean smiled sadly. “I mean none of it happened in my world, he died before I met you, before Jack was born, but damn. That sounds a hell of a lot like him.” 

“Do you have any other questions for me?” Cas asked.

“Um… yeah. You mentioned Jack’s real parents, who are they? I mean I know Kelly is still his mom here, but who was she?” Dean asked. He just wonder how different the story was. It seemed similar, but yet different.

“Kelly was my best friend in college, but she died during labor. Right before she passed, she asked if I could raise her baby. She had already named him Jack, but she asked the doctors to put Winchester as his last name. 

“Jack’s Dad, he’s pure evil. Currently, he’s locked up in prison for murder and he’ll be there the rest of his life. Which is fine. Kelly never loved him anyway. He basically, for lack of a better word, raped her. She was drunk, so even if she didn’t openly object him, she couldn’t give proper consent either. Basically, we’re all Jack has.”

Dean smirked. “That’s pretty much the same as my world. There was dubious consent issues and Jack’s father is actually the Devil. Seriously, he’s Lucifer. Kelly also knew ahead of time that she would die during labor, so she choose you to raise him. So, my Jack is half angel, half human.”

“He’s a Nephilim. Fascinating.” Cas smiled. “You used to refer to Jack’s real Father as Lucifer. It’s ironic that in your world he really is.” 

“Since we’re normal here, does that mean we have jobs?” Dean asked. That was one aspect he was not looking forward to. He didn’t think he could handle working 9 to 5 at some boring office job. It might just drive him insane. 

“Of course. As I already told you, I’m a mythology professor at a University.” 

“I married a smart guy. Awesome.” Dean grinned. “Please don’t tell me I’m something lame like business man or an accountant.” 

“Oh please, I just told you I hate my family. There’s no way I would marry a businessman. Trust me. It’s cooler than that.” Castiel promised.

“Cas I swear, if I have to wear a suit I’m quitting!”

“Not a suit, but a uniform. Detective Winchester.” Castiel told him with a smirk. 

“I have to admit that is pretty awesome.”

“I’d say, considering your the best in the county.” Cas added. 

“You’re biased.” Dean pointed out. 

“Just a bit, but you and your lawyer brother make a pretty good team.” Dean smiled at the thought of him and Sammy still working together in this universe. It sure beat his other dream world, where they never talked to each other and Sam practically hated him. That’s when it had stop being a dream and was slowly becoming a nightmare. 

“When do I have to go back?” Dean asked, fearing that it would be soon. Sure being an officer was right up his alley, but that didn’t mean he actually knew how to do it.

“Well, getting hit by a car bought you more time, but it won’t be long before Jody knocks down our door to make sure you aren’t dead.” 

“Sounds like Jody,” Dean laughed. “I don’t even know how good of a cop I’ll be. I know more about breaking the law than enforcing it.”

“Well, your job consists more of solving cases rather than writing tickets.” Cas pointed out. “It shouldn’t be too far from hunting monsters.” Dean shrugged, he had a point there. Most of the work him and Sam did on hunts was solving cases. Without needing to figure out the type of monster or how to kill it, this should be a cakewalk for him.

Thinking about his world made him look at Cas for a moment. “You’re taking this extremely well. In fact it’s unnatural how well your taking this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, weird shit happens to me all of the time and I’m freaking out. You should be a little upset, at the very least, not totally calm.” Cas still stared at him like it was no big deal so Dean elaborated further. “You do realize that, if I can’t get back to my world, you may never see your Dean, your husband, ever again?” 

“I know, but it feels like you are my Dean.” Cas smiled at him warmly. “Everything about you is the same albeit your memories and this feels...right. I think I’d freak out if it didn’t, but I have this gut feeling that this is right. That you’re right.” Dean looked at him in disbelief. 

“And you realize that back in my world, Cas and I are nothing more than best friends. And any romantic feels I have for him have been shoved so far down inside of me for over a decade that it may be a long time before I feel comfortable with showing affection. And I mean a long time. Years even.” Dean tried to emphasize just how long he meant. He needed this Cas to know just how emotionally stunted and fucked up he was. 

“Then I’m prepared to wait that long.” Cas said honestly. Then with a flirtatious look in his eyes he scooted considerably closer to Dean. “Although, something tells me that won’t be the case.”  
Dean accidentally glanced down at Cas’ mouth which seemed to have gotten closer. He shook his head and forced himself to look back up. “B-but, you’re not m-my Cas.” He said shakily, feeling dazed by having Cas in this close proximity. 

“I’m as good as and whatever was holding you back in your world is gone now. The end of the world danger doesn’t exist here. If you feared your family finding out, they already know here and they still love accept you. If you worried about your feelings not being reciprocated, I can assure you that isn’t true.” Dean could feel himself buying into every word dream!Cas was saying and he hated it. His brain was warning him to not be a dumbass and fall for it, but since when did he ever listen to his head? 

“Son of a bitch…” Dean cursed before pulling Cas in for a kiss. This wasn’t the first time he was kissing this Cas, but before it had felt like he was just playing the character of domestic Dean. Something about Cas knowing the truth made this one feel more real. It was dream Cas kissing real Dean. It was nice, there was a passion on both receiving ends that wasn’t there before. 

This Cas was a better kisser than he imagined his Cas being. Even though according to Meg his Cas had learned a lot from the pizza man, Dean still imagined him being more hesitant and slow. This Cas clearly has a lot of practice in the kissing department, more specifically, he had more practice kissing Dean. He didn’t seem at all nervous, proving that to this Castiel, he was just kissing his husband.

Halfway through their make out session Dean made the mistake of opening his eyes for half a second. He swore he saw Cas standing behind the couch. As in the real Castiel. He was wearing the same old suit and trenchcoat and his face showed a look of stoic confusion that only angel Cas could. That made Dean pull back from the kiss quickly, only for the apparition of Cas to disappear. 

“Dean? What’s wrong?” The Castiel in front of him asked. Dean thought about telling him for a moment, but decided against it. His guilt ridden mind probably conjured it. All he was able to think about was how different this may be if he was kissing the real Cas. 

“N-nothing.” Dean quickly answered. “Just you don’t mind if we go slow. I mean as much as I love doing this-” He gestured between the two of them. “It’s just a lot to wrap my mind around. I mean even though your Cas, your not…”

“Your Castiel.” He answered for him sadly. “Yes, I understand. Like I said earlier, I am willing to wait. I would wait a whole lifetime and more for you Dean Winchester.” 

“Yeah, I know…” Dean said under his breath. Maybe that was their problem. That Dean was too fucked up in the emotion department and Cas was content where he was as long as he was with Dean. It definitely made Dean wonder what he could have had all these years with Cas. 

Then he realized it wouldn’t matter anyway. That thought made Dean shift on the couch till he had his head leaning on Castiel’s shoulder. Something he yearn to do many times before, but was too afraid of giving himself away.

“We should probably pick up Jack.” Dean realized, feeling bad for leaving the little guy all this time. Especially after his tearful goodbye.

“Yeah we probably should…” Castiel said absentmindedly. Neither of them made to get off the couch yet. “Can you tell me more about him?”

“Huh?” Dean sat up, not expecting the question.

“Can you tell me more about Jack? How he’ll be like when he grows up?” Dean smirked thinking about the snot nosed kid from earlier and the young man he left behind. 

“Well I wouldn’t say he’s full grown, maybe like three quarters? But, Jack is great kid. He continues to blow me away everyday. After everything he’s been through he’s still kind, selfless, and he loves his family more than anything. He loves candy almost as much, specifically nougat. You and Sam think he looks a lot like Kelly, but I think he looks exactly like you. I don’t know, maybe it’s just his mannerisms or the way he looks at the world like there’s still good in it. The same way you do.” Dean hadn’t meant to get so sentimental. He shifted awkwardly. Luckily Cas sensed this and asked another question. 

“Did he have a rebellious stage?” Cas asked with a smirked.

“Yeah he has his moments,” Dean scoffed. “Just be lucky your Jack can’t blast you across the room. His intentions are usually good. Guess we’re just lucky he’s not doing drugs or stealing or pretty much anything I did as a kid.” 

“Alright,” Castiel stood up. “That worked. I miss him.” Dean and Cas were then on their way to pick up Jack from his mom’s house. Dean had to admit he found himself missing the four year old. It was a weird feeling. He felt like he was already assimilating into this world. For moment he felt like this life was really his. It left him an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. How quickly he was beginning to forget his real family and his real home. 

“But they are your real family Dean. They are the same people, it’s just a different situation.” He heard a voice in his head say, a voice that sounded all too real to be normal, but was his voice nevertheless. “This is what you’ve always wanted Dean. Your family. All together, alive, and happy. With no threats hanging over your head.” 

The strange voice that didn’t sound like himself did have a point. Somehow everyone being here made him feel less like he was abandoning them. Maybe this was the universe giving him a second chance. He deserved it more than anyone. Maybe Chuck was finally taking pity on him. Or maybe he was dead and in heaven. Either way there wasn’t anything he could do about it. “That’s right Dean. This is your second chance. Just relax and enjoy it.” 

Dean somehow found himself on the doorstep of his mother’s house with no recollection of how he got there. He tried to shake off the weird feeling that the voice in his head gave him, but the uneasiness still linger at the back of his mind. 

As soon as the front door, Jack jumped out into Dean’s arms. The shock from the impact was enough to clear his mind for a moment. Cas didn’t waste too much time greeting Mary and gathering Jack’s things so that they could leave. He had already gotten the hint that Dean didn’t want to stick around very long. 

By the time they wrestled the kid and strapped him down in the backseat and begun their drive back, Dean’s mind continued to wandering. He couldn’t get the sound of the voice out of his head. It was giving him deja vu. He knew he had heard that voice before, but he couldn’t pinpoint where. 

At this point he was only half listening to the conversation Jack and Cas where having. Jack was talking about some kid in his preschool class that was always picking on him and pushing him down during play time. Then on Friday, the kid stole the extra cookie Cas had packed Jack for lunch.

“What’s this boy’s name, Jack?” Cas growled. He was clearly angered at the thought of anyone messing with his son.

“His name is Michael.” Dean slammed on the breaks. 

“Dean! What’s wrong?” Dean ignored Cas’ concerned question and turned around to Jack.

“Hold on, did you say his name was Michael?” Dean asked sharply. Jack hesitantly nodded. Michael. Michael. Michael. Dean repeated the name in his head over and over. His gut was practically screaming that this name was important. That this was the big missing piece to the puzzle that was this dream. He tried focusing his mind on this one name to remember why it was important, but every time he tried his mind became foggy. 

“It’s nothing…” He mumbled to Cas and continued to drive. Cas was staring at him with a concerned look of disbelief, but he ignored it. Whoever Michael was, he was the one behind all of this. Dean knew it, but he couldn’t risk telling Cas and alerting Michael that he was on to him. It’s not like this was the real Cas anyway.

He was thankful that Cas didn’t try to pry him for answers the rest of the night. Instead they spent quality time together as a normal modern day American family. They played hide and seek together that quickly turned into Dean and Cas chasing Jack around the house. They ordered delivery pizza because neither Dean or Castiel could bother with making dinner after the long day they had. Take out over cooking was a classic Winchester tradition anyway. They ended the night with the three of them falling asleep on the couch while watching an old disney movie that Dean couldn’t remember the name of. Dean and Cas were leaned up against each other while they had the toddler tucked safely in between them. As Dean felt his eyes closing the name Michael had long since escaped his consciousness. 

“Dean!” 

He quickly opened his eyes at the sound of somebody calling his name. He was sitting in the same position he had fallen asleep in with dream Jack and Cas glued to his side. The TV had turned to a soft static, the movie had ended hours ago. He felt a chill on the back of his neck and felt as if he was being watched. He carefully stood up from his place on the couch and turned around.

He froze when he saw that Sam and Castiel were watching him. He knew right away that they were the real thing and not the fantasy version.

“Hey fellas…”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns the truth...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's only one more chapter after this. And I apologize now for not knowing how to write fight scenes lol.

“Hey fellas…” He said cautiously moving towards them. “W-what are you doing here?”

“Dean this is isn’t real. Michael is keeping you locked in some… weird fantasy world.” Sam explained quickly. Both him and Cas looked out of breath like they were in a hurry to leave.

“Michael?” Dean repeated, remembering his conversation with Jack earlier. “Who’s Michael?”   
Sam looked taken aback as if he should know who the hell Michael was. 

“He means Michael the archangel. The one who’s been inside your head for months.” Castiel said sharply. 

“No, Michael’s been in the cage. We put him there. Years ago.” Dean shook his head. “Besides, I would never say yes.” Sam gave him a sympathetic look.

“Yes you did. You need to remember what’s going out there - in the real world.” His brother pleaded.

“W-what do mean? Last I remember out there was the three of us and Jack were drinking beer. We had just brought Jack back and I remember thinking that everything was fine for once.” Dean was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that an archangel was control his body. “You don’t mean that I made that all up?”

“No. It did happen, but Dean, that was a month ago.” Dean felt his heart rate speed up.

“You mean that I’ve been in this dream for a month?” 

“No, Dean it’s only been a day. Michael has manipulated your memories as a way to keep you here.” Cas and Sam had matching expressions of empathy and Dean hated it. He started shaking his head in disbelief. 

“This can’t be happening.” He looked away and tried to calm his breathing. They were lying. That was the only explanation because he sure as hell knew that he would never say yes to Michael. Not after all that shit they went through to stop the apocalypse from happening. “You guys aren’t real. You can’t be. I’ve finally been given a second chance and your just some trick to make me go back.” He turned his back on them. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough they would disappear. The idea of him saying yes to the archangel seemed more far fetched than this world. 

“Poughkeepsie.” He heard his brother say. That word triggered something in Dean’s mind. He started seeing flashing images of thousands of body’s killed by his own hands. He was shown himself staring into a mirror and not recognizing the face reflecting back at him.

Then he suddenly remembered everything. His deal with Michael, killing Lucifer, the archangel inevitably breaking his promise, he even remembered Christmas Eve in Kansas City. The whole situation was a lot to take in and it left him feeling dizzy.

“Maybe I don’t want to leave…” He said blankly, keeping his back towards them. He didn’t mean it as a fact, more of a possibility. An option that was available to him, despite it going against everything he stood for. But an option no doubt. 

“Dean, if you knew what was going on out there-“ Sam started, but Dean cut him off looking his brother in the eyes for the first time.

“I remember exactly what’s going on out there. Why would I want to go back to that?” He said harsher than he intended. He had no clue where that came from. A few hours ago he was dying to find an escape from this dream and now he was pleading to stay. The realization of him saying yes to Michael hit him harder than he realized.

“Because the people out there, they need you. We need you Dean.” The angel looked at him with pleading eyes. 

“Dean I get it, trust me I do. Dreaming of having a normal life, it’s what we’ve always wanted. But it’s just a dream. You know a normal life was never in the cards for us. “ Realistically, he knew Sam was right with their life it was impossible to escape. But, in the dream world it all seemed so simple, even if it was for just a moment. He had been satisfied once he accepted that there was no escape. His whole questioning who Michael was had came from a place of curiosity and obligation.

“Why not? I don’t even mean all of this not hunting - apple pie - white picket fence crap. I mean why can’t we ever be happy for five freaking minutes!” Hell, all he ever asked for most of the time was a vacation, but no. The universe could never allow him a small break from hunting. It could never allow him to have a fraction of what true happiness was. Every time he felt happy, even if it was for a short moment, he was just waiting for the other shoe it drop. And it always did. Every. Damn. Time. 

His argument must have been valid, because Sam and Cas both seemed to be at a lost for words. Both of them avoided making eye contact. Everything he said was based purely on fact, there was no point in arguing. Until Cas bravely stepped forward.

“What if we could.” 

“What?” Dean asked, not sure if he understood what the angel was saying.

“What if we could.” Castiel repeated. That’s when Dean noticed how nervous he looked. How his rapid breathing speeded after repeating his statement. “This dream - your dream - it isn’t that far of a cry from reality. Apart from not hunting and Jessica Moore, it’s the same as out there. Your family in here is the same family that’s waiting for you out there.” 

Dean shook his head. “No. You and I both know that there’s a big difference between in here and out there. Colossal difference, really.” That was the first time Dean started feeling self conscious from his brother and best friend being inside of his head. It meant that they had both seen his big secret. He had a feeling Sam had already known before, but it was a little embarrassing knowing Cas saw it too. Now, nothing between them could ever be as it was before.

Cas took a few steps closer to him until he was practically invading Dean’s personal space. “Unless you’re talking about Jack being full grown, then no there really isn’t.” This time Dean took a step backwards shaking his head.

“No. No. No.” He repeated. “I’m going stop you right there. Just because you and Sam went all dreamwalker in my mind does not give you a right to mess with my feelings you son of a bitch. Cause if this is just a trick to get me to leave then I’ll never forgive you.” 

“What if I told you this wasn’t a ploy.” The angel took a deep breath before stepping closer and placing his palm on his cheek. Dean couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch. “That I’ve felt this way for a long time. For years, actually.” 

“Cas…” One look into his blue eyes told Dean all he needed to know. Cas was telling the truth. Which only made this hurt so much more. “I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing.” He pulled himself away from the angel’s grasp. 

“What do you mean? Of course it changes things,” Castiel practically growled. “Now that I’ve told you how I felt, we can be together. You can be happy.” 

Dean had to laugh at how ridiculous the angel’s words sounded. 

“Do you hear yourself right now Cas? Cause to me it sounds freakin’ hysterical.” He ignored the flash of hurt on Cas’ face. “Don’t you get it? I like you and you like me. But none of it matters you dumb son of a bitch! It’s not like we can just ride off into the freakin sun set! Screw what we feel! It can never happen.” 

“But why not?” Cas pushed.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Do you seriously need me to explain that to you? It’s because-“

“Because what?” Castiel pressed, stepping back into Dean’s space. Only this time he looked pissed more than anything else. “Because of our lives? Because you’re afraid that our enemies will use it against us? Because your still scared after what happened with Ben and Lisa? Well it’s too late for that. I’m already apart of this life, our enemies already know our weaknesses, the risk of losing one another is already there. I hardly see how the nature of our relationship changes any of that.” 

“You make it sound like it’s that simple.” 

“Because it can be. We need you Dean. I need you.” Then he captured Dean’s lips with his. It didn’t last very long, but it still took him by surprise. Just as he expected, kissing real Cas was different than the dream. Despite the stiffness and hesitation behind it, Dean was positive he would take this over the dream any day. This felt real and raw and natural. 

“Cas, this is insane.” Dean responded once it ended. This time there was no malice behind he words, instead he weakly smiled. “There is no way this is gonna end well.”

“We’ll make it work. Like we always do.” 

Their moment was ruined by someone clapping. They broke apart to find Michael watching them with a smirk. “Wow that was beautiful boys, truely. Sorry I had to ruin it.”

“You know you’re real brave showing your face.” Dean glared at his look-alike. “Cause now all I have to do is tell you that you’re not welcomed here.” 

“Is that so? Because to get rid of me, you have to actually want me to leave.” Michael smirked as he walked over. Dean never hated his own face more. “Which we all know isn’t true. You’d rather stay here with them.” He pointed to where dream Cas and Jack were still sleeping on the couch. 

“What was the point of all this anyway?” Dean gestured around the room. “Giving me a happy life, making me think there was a djinn, what kind of sick game are you playing?”

“Oh please.” The archangel rolled his eyes. “I had to throw you off guard. The longer you searched for the djinn, the more I had you sucked into my trap. Then once you realized it was pointless to fight, you stopped.”

“Get out of my head.” Dean growled. 

“You don’t mean that, Dean, not really. You may lie to them, but deep down, I know you. I am you.

“Like I know that everything Castiel just told you is bullshit. Angels can’t feel anything. I would know. Besides, deep down you know that once this is over everything will go back to how it was before. The two of you awkwardly dancing around each other for another decade. And don’t even get me started on little Sammy.” Michael gave Sam a glance. “Sam would take any chance he could to get away from you. He’s been thinking it since day one and he hasn’t changed much since. Think about it. First Stanford, then Ruby, Sammuel, Purgatory, the British men of letters, it’s the same song over and over. I mean I had you for months and you only came back because I let you go, not because they found you. It makes you wonder; how hard was he looking?”

“Shut up!” Dean yelled. He knew everything that Michael was saying was bullshit, but damn he really knew how to hit all of Dean’s insecurities.

“Face it they don’t really care about you and you know it. But, in here it can be different. I made you the perfect make and model. They’ll never argue with you, never turn on you, and most importantly, they’ll never leave you.” Michael taunted. “They’re not your family. They don’t care about you and you don’t care about them. You wanted to get away from your life so badly that you said yes to me. Because you know that anything I’ll give you is better than reality.”

“I said shut up!” Dean tried again. 

“Dean he’s lying!” Sam shouted.

“Wait.” Cas said suddenly. “Something’s wrong. He’s stalling.”

“And why would I do that?” Michael said cooly. Not even a hint of fear could be seen on his face.

“He’s buying time so his monsters can get to us and rescue him.” Sam pointed out. “We are all just visions in Dean’s mind, which means he has no power here.” 

“Your really think I need powers to beat you.” Michael rolled his eyes. “I destroy worlds, I can crush you with my bare hands.” 

“Prove it.” Dean growled as the three of them attacked the archangel. It still felt like they were getting their asses kicked, but now Dean had a sense of control knowing that Michael was powerless in here. As they fought Michael continued to taunt them, but his insults were   
meaningless. 

“You fellas didn't think this out, did you?” Michael laughed. “Even if you could force me out, what do you think I'd leave behind, hm? You'd be nothing but blood and bone.” 

“Then we don’t kick him out. We keep him in.” Dean realized if this was his dreamland, that meant he was in charge of what happens. Now was the time for him to test his lucid dreaming skills. With the help of Sam, he forced Michael into the nearest closet door. Once they managed to override Michael’s strength and pushed the door closed. Dean closed his eyes and concentrated on imagining a three bolt lock on the door. When he opened his eyes and saw the lock in his head manifested on the door knob he let out a sigh of relief. 

“It’ll hold. My mind, my rules.” He reassured Sam and Cas who stared at the door cautiously. They could hear they archangel yelling and pounding on the door from the otherside of it. “I got him. I’m the Cage.” 

Sam laughed in relief for a brief moment before his face turned to panic. “We have to get out of here. Michael’s monster’s could still be out there and we left Jack to fend them off by himself.” He gave Cas a nudge. 

“Alright. Once we leave you’ll wake up soon after.” Cas told Dean before leaving with Sam. 

Once they were gone, Dean slowly walked over to the couch he was sitting on with dream Cas and Jack. Sometime during the fight both had disappeared into thin air. Soon everything in this world would disappear, until only the closet that Michael was in was left. It would just become another distant memory in Dean’s mind. 

He tried not to dwell on what could have been and focused on what would happen next. It was better this way. At least this way was real.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An aftermath of the fight with Michael.

When Dean woke up he found himself sitting in the Bunker library wearing Michael’s stiff, scratchy suit. He had no clue why the archangel was so attached to it considering how uncomfortable it was. It was constricting and claustrophobic and he felt like he could barely breathe. Eerily, the outfit made him feel like he was stuck wearing somebody else’s body, instead of them wearing his. It made his skin crawl. He decided that the first thing he needed to do was change as soon as possible.

The bunker was in full commotion, everyone seemed to be too busy at the moment to even notice his brief absence. The apocalypse world hunters were cleaning up the bodies of Michael’s minions, while giving nervous glances towards Dean as if they thought that he would snap at any moment and reveal himself to be Michael. Another reason for him to change immediately. Sam had pulled Maggie to the side, mostly likely to ask her what happened in his absence. Dean always enjoyed watching the pride on his brother’s face when he talked to the younger hunter. On the other side of the room Cas was dragging Jack into the kitchen. The angel had a “concerned father” look on his face and the nephilim looked like a guilty child. Yep. No one would notice him disappearing for a few minutes.

He went to his room and replaced the suit with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He’d probably burn the suit later, just like he did the last time. He had no clue how Micheal pulled out an exact replica in the amount of time he had and he could really care less. He then ran his fingers through his hair, just enough to ruin the perfectly slicked hairstyle that was given to him. He didn’t care that it was probably sticking out in odd directions, he wasn’t planning on talking to any of the other hunters and it was nothing Sam, Cas, and Jack hadn’t seen before. As long as he looked like himself again, he was fine. 

He made his way back into the war room knowing that Sam would get worried if he was gone for too long. He was thankful to find that most of the apocalypse world hunters had begun to clear out. He saw Jack walking in the direction of his bedroom with a moody look on his face. 

“Jack, wait up!” Dean called to the boy. 

Jack turned around and groaned. “Dean, you don’t need to lecture me. Cas already made it perfectly clear-” Dean rolled his eyes and cut off his sentence by pulling him into a hug. After a few seconds he finally returned it and wrapped his arms around him. Dean nearly chuckled at how similar it felt to hugging Cas. 

“You’re not mad?” The nephilim sounded confused.

“Look kid, I have no idea what you did so don’t ruin the moment.” He gave the kid a pat on the back before pulling away. “I’m just glad that everyone’s okay.”

“Are you okay?’ Jack asked, eyeing him nervously.

“As long as I ignore the massive headache that is the archangel trapped inside my head then yeah. I’m super.” He smiled sarcastically.

“What did Michael do to you? When he was in your head.”   
Dean sighed. How could he explained what happened without sounding like a total sap? “Michael wanted me to stop fighting him. So, he gave me what I really wanted: my family safe and happy.” In some ways he got off easy. Michael could have subjected him with endless hours of torture, but he didn’t. He gave him a perfect fantasy world and Dean reacted exactly as he wanted him to. If it weren’t for Sam and Cas invading his head, he could have been stuck there forever. At least until Michael bit the dust or decided to let him die. It was still an unsettling thought. 

“You were with Sam, Mary, and Castiel. That sounds nice.” Jack said with a thoughtful smile. 

“It was. We were living the normal life we’ve always wanted. Me, Sammy, Mom, Cas, and you.” He added once he realized that Jack didn’t include himself.

“Really?” Jack asked with a bigger smile on his face.

“Yes really. It was a miniature version, but it was still you.”

“You should have seen it.” Sam joined in with a teasing grin. “A four year old Jack, running around in diapers. It was cute.” 

“Is that how you would prefer me to be? A little kid?” 

“Hell no.” Dean answered immediately. “Can you really imagine the three of us trying to change a diaper? I barely get four hours of sleep as it is, the last thing I need is a screaming baby waking me up. And what would we do during hunts? Strap you to Cas in a papoose? Actually now I kinda want to see that.”

Sam laughed. “All of that is hard enough, but imagine that on top of his powers? One burp and he’d blow up the Bunker.” 

“Yeah no thanks. I’ll take hormones over potty training anyday.” He gave Jack a pat on the back. 

“Yeah that wouldn’t be good.” Jack chuckled. “Although sometimes I do miss not having a real childhood.” Deep down Dean felt for the kid. None of them really experienced a real childhood in its entirety, but at least Dean had the first four years of his life. No matter how crappy him and Sam had it, at least they didn’t skip over that stage entirely. 

“Look, we can buy you a box of Legos tomorrow.” Dean brushed off Jack’s comment with a joke. No use dwelling on what they didn’t have.

“I don’t know what Legos are, but if that’s what normal kids do I’ll be willing to try.” Jack smiled before walking back to his room.

Sam smiled after the kid before turning a concerned look on him. “How are you holding up?” 

“I’m okay, considering everything. Michael is still banging on the closet door, which is annoying, but at least it’s a reminder that he’s still trapped.” It was the worst headache he’s ever had, but as long as he kept his mind occupied the banging toned down to an incessant tapping.

“Look man, this is only temporary. We will find a way to get him out of you. I promise.” 

“We’ll see…” Dean looked at the ground. The more he thought about the situation, the more he realized that there might not be a way out. At least not for him. He could try expelling him out of his body, except Michael had gotten one thing right, he wasn’t sure he wanted him gone. Obviously he wanted him dead and he absolutely hated being an archangel condom. But what would expelling him really solve? All that would happen is Michael would possess another innocent person and continue to wreak havoc on this world. Dean couldn’t let another person suffer for his sake. He’d rather die. And he had a feeling that it might come down to that.

“No. We will.” Of course, leave it to Sammy to disagree with reality. Dean expected nothing less, after all, if the roles were reversed he would say the same thing. But, instead of indulging in his kid brother’s fantasies, he’d rather drop the subject for now. 

“Well it’s been a long day, so if that’s all you wanted to talk to me about, I think I’m going to call it a night.” 

“No. There’s more.” Sam stopped him. God damn, the kid was never satisfied until they had a chick-flick moment. Whereas Dean would be perfectly happy with ending the conversation here. He had done enough emotion spilling for a month. “You seemed pretty set on staying back there and it’s not like Cas and I gave you much of a choice. Are you sure you’re alright? I know you were pretty messed up the last time you were in a djinn dream.” 

“I was never going to stay. Not really. Hell, half the time I was trying to find a way out.” He was content with staying at the time, but deep down he knew it would have drove him mad eventually. All of the little details that Micheal couldn’t have gotten right. The differences between the so called “perfect versions” of the people he loves verses the real ones. There would have always been a part of Dean that didn’t feel right. “I think I was just hung up on the idea. All of us happy together. Not having to worry about people dying all of the time. But, it’s just a dream. Sooner or later there was going to be a flaw, just like the djinn dream.”

“I got to admit I was pretty spooked when I saw Jess.” 

“Yeah well, I guess whenever I picture you living the good life, I imagine you with her.” Which was true. The closest Sam ever had to a normal life was when he was at Stanford and Dean knew how happy she made his brother. 

“Yeah me too.” Sam said with watery eyes. “Does that mean you picture yourself with Cas, when you think of having a normal life?”

Dean glanced over to where the angel was sitting awkwardly at the library table, clearly unsure of what he should do, and he chuckled. “I don’t think any life with Cas could be considered normal.” 

“Maybe that’s the point.” Sam suggests with a smirk. “I don’t think you could ever live a normal life, at least, not completely. You would never be satisfied. I mean, not to bring up a triggering subject, but no matter how much you cared about them, you never felt right living with Ben and Lisa. You were itching to go on another hunt. Soulless or not I could see it.” 

“So you’re saying I’m just fucked up?”

His brother rolled his eyes. “No. I’m saying that you were never meant to be Mike Brady. I think you need someone who’s a little weird. Someone that will keep you on your toes. Otherwise, you would get bored pretty quickly.”

“Thanks for the analysis Dr. Phil.” Dean smirked. He really needed to stop Sam before he delved too far into his feelings for a certain angel. It was embarrassing enough that his brother witnessed all of his inner thoughts, but Dean didn’t think he was ready to talk so openly about something he tried so hard to keep hidden for the better part of a decade. Especially not before he had the chance to talk to Cas about it. “I’m going to hit the hay. Today’s been a long day.”

He waited for Sam to leave before walking over to where Cas was seated.

“Hey.” Dean said softly.

“Hello Dean.” The angel replied with a smile that was enough to make Dean feel nervous. It was weird, he’d known Cas for ten years and this was the first time he lacked his usual confidence while talking to him. It was one thing expressing his feelings in the heat of the moment, but something about sitting face to face in the now quiet bunker was nerve wracking. 

“We should probably talk?” He said with an uneasy smile. 

“I suppose we should…” Son of a bitch. Dean should’ve known that Cas wouldn’t initiate the conversation on his own. It was their biggest issue. Neither of them enjoyed talking about their feelings which is why it took ten freakin’ years for it to come to light. 

After a few seconds of both men not saying anything Dean sighed, “Dude, you know I suck at this kind of thing, so I’m just going to be honest. I don’t know where we go from here, but I do know that we can’t pretend like everything is the same. Like the conversation in my head never happened. Cause I’d rather die than let Michael be right.” 

“I can’t say that I have any experience with relationships, but I do know that humans tend to make things more complicated than necessary.” Dean laughed at Cas’ comment because despite the angel’s bluntness, it was extremely accurate. “I like you and you like me. Isn’t that all that truly matters? We’ll figure the rest out from there.”

“So what? Does that mean we’re dating?”

“If that’s the term you would like to use.”

“I’m fine with anything except ‘boyfriend’. I’m a 40 year old man I don’t want to use a word that makes me feel like I’m 16 again.” 

“As you wish.” Cas smiled in a way that made Dean’s chest warm up. 

“Well I’m beat. I should probably go to bed.” Dean stood up and gave him a look that he hoped the angel would figure out. 

“Goodnight Dean.” The angel remained firmly seated in his chair clearly not getting the hint. Dean groaned. He had no idea why he expected Cas to understand that, as if he wasn’t aware that he had a history of misinterpreting social cues.

“Cas, I’m trying to ask if you wanted to join me?”

“Oh. You want to have sex?” Cas asked with wide eyes.

“Woah buddy, slow down. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the whole ‘we’re dating’ situation. Also, I wasn’t kidding when I said that I need to sleep. I was just hoping that you would sleep with me...literally.”

“But I don’t need to sleep.” Cas asked, still not comprehending Dean’s proposition.

“Right. I’m aware of that. Can you just lay with me at least until I fall asleep?” The more times he repeated it, the more he realized how needy he sounded. He was feeling ready to reject the offer entirely, but he reminded himself that Cas was oblivious to the details of dating.

“Okay. That does sound pleasant.” Castiel stood up from his chair, but hesitated instead of walking towards Dean. He realized that the angel was feeling nervous and he was relieved to know that he wasn’t the only one.

Dean rolled his eyes and smiled. “Come on.” He grabbed Castiel’s hand and intertwined their fingers and pulled him in the direction of his bedroom. 

“Dean?” Cas asked as they walked, his hand still firmly holding Dean’s. “Since we’re ‘dating’, that does mean we’re monogamous, correct?”

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

“So, no more one night stands during hunts?” The angel looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

“Nope. I’m all yours.” Dean said with a smirk.

“Good.” Castiel smiled back.

Sharing a bed with real Cas was a lot different from sleeping with the version in his head. For one, Dean wasn’t stressing about staying as far on his side of the bed as physically possible. As soon as they laid down (after Dean practically forced him to peel off a few layers) he curled up against Cas with his head on his shoulder. Castiel was a bit stiff at first, but he relaxed once they settled in a comfortable position.

“I know it seems sappy, but I really appreciate you doing this Cas.” Dean spoke after they had been laying in a comfortable silence for a while. “Michael hasn’t stopped banging in my head since I got back and I don’t think that I would’ve been able to sleep at all if you weren’t… I don’t know… Just you being here, it helps a lot. Gives me something else to think about.

“Sleep Dean,” Castiel in a soft voice that washed Dean over with a wave of calm. “I’ll watch over you.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair in relaxing gesture.

Dean closed his eyes feeling a sense of safety and serenity that he hadn’t felt in years. The road ahead of them looked darker and dimmer by each passing day, but in this moment he could pretend that everything would turn out okay.The feeling of a solid warm body next to him was enough to keep him grounded and reassured him that this was indeed real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the ending and sorry it took so long (I had all the other chapters pre written except for this one). Thank you to everyone who read the story up until this point. I hope you enjoyed reading it like I enjoyed writing it! I especially enjoyed writing about Dean's dream world. I even started writing a short story about what happened between Dean's family and John. So, let me know if that's something you might be interested in reading.


End file.
